The Victim is the type of woman who sees herself as someone who is always mistreated by the people around her. She is perfectly innocent, honest, and has the best intentions, but she is treated in a harsh, dishonest way by people with bad intentions. At least this is what she believes, or tells you, to generate sympathy from your side.
When a Victim breaks up with her boyfriend, he is always a bastard, he has cheated on her, or he has treated her so badly that it just had to end. It is never the case that she just met someone who did not fit to her personality, and things just did not work out. No, a Victim is always a Victim.
When a Victim walks the street and stumbles, it is always the mistake of someone else: someone left something on the street that makes her stumble, or someone did not clean the street, so she had to slide and fall. She is never clumsy, but always a Victim.
As you can imagine, it is not much fun to be with a Victim. You always have to devote your time and energy to giving her the sympathy she wants. And if you ever refuse to do so, you will be the next target, because now she is the Victim of your insensitivity.
Do not confuse a woman with a bad day with a Victim. We all have days when we meet the wrong people, have bad luck, or have small accidents. And this does not improve our mood either, so we also will complain occasionally.
To find out whether she is a Victim or just has a bad day, you can ask her some test questions or feedback. When she complains about an ex-boyfriend, you can tell her that in your experience there are always two people to blame when two people break up. If this triggers an ice-cold look, and a self-righteous monologue about how good she was and how bad he was, you are probably talking to a Victim.
If she complains about the bad service in a shop, tell her that you know that in this shop the staff is so busy and the prices so low, that it is difficult to give a better service for this price. If she attacks the whole idea, she may be a Victim.
The surest sign that you are talking to a Victim is when you ask her if she never makes mistakes, if she is never wrong, or if she never does things she regrets. This is the "acid test" to check whether you are talking to a victim.
If she denies this, if she thinks she does not make mistakes, is always right and if she never has done anything she regrets: you are talking to "The Victim." Because normal people like you and I are sometimes wrong, we sometimes make mistakes, and we sometimes do things we regret.
The goal of the Victim is to sell you her "victim-story" to get sympathy from you, to suck your energy out of you, like a vampire sucks blood out of you. She has learned somewhere that this works on some men, and she will try if it works on you. Make sure it does not work on you. If meet "The Victim" somewhere, do not waste your time on her; she will poison your life with negativity.
There are two easy ways to get rid of the Victim. One is to walk away. If you meet a Victim on social occasions, and the circumstances dictate that you have to spend some time with her, there is another strategy that always works: act bored. Be polite, but just polite enough. Yawn, nod sometimes, look around, and give only short answers. "OK", "Well" "Oh, really?" She will choose another person to get some sympathy from.
By acting bored and not giving her the sympathy she is yearning for, you keep your energy. Since she does not receive anything, she will look for someone else, like a mosquito that looks for someone with sweet blood. And that will give you the chance to look for better company.
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