The Art of Internet Dating

When you're single after a relationship breakdown, you usually don't feel very good about yourself. Your self-esteem is understandably low, so it's important to devote quality time to yourself. First you need to "find" yourself. Find out who you really are, and what you really want. Imagine what kind of person you would like to meet. Tell yourself that you're worth it, and that you deserve a satisfying relationship. The internet is not a magic wand, but it's a valuable tool and it will help you find someone, as long as you're ready for it, mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Why is internet dating so exciting? Because it's easy, quick, affordable, and you can do it from home in your own time. You don't waste any time going to places where most people you encounter already have someone in their lives, or are totally incompatible with you. The good thing with the internet is that it gives you the opportunity to check someone out before meeting them. You can find out as much as you like about this person, and decide whether to go ahead with it or not.

You might object that it would be easy for someone to lie, and pretend to be someone they're not. We need to use our common sense here, and look for cohesion in e-mails and other exchanges. If someone starts talking about love or sex after just a couple of mails, that person might have a bit of a problem. In the end, your intuition or gut feeling will tell you what is right or wrong for you. A single word may alert you. The more you communicate with someone, the more you'll find out if he's consistent and makes sense. If he keeps contradicting himself, it's probably because he's not telling the truth. Remember all these lawyer shows on TV. When cross-examining, the lawyer looks for statements that are opposed and reveal a flaw in the story. Beware if any question remains unanswered. An honest person should have nothing to hide.

A few more safety tips: never reveal personal details such as surname, street address, landline (use mobile phone numbers), workplace, etc. Take as long as you like before meeting up in person. Exchange e-mails, and talk over the phone for as long as it takes for you to feel comfortable. When you're ready, schedule your first date in a busy public place such as a street cafe. You could even ask a friend to accompany you, and either be with you, or observe you from a distance. Don't feel pressured to stay at any time, and don't take a lift in a car or any other type of transport. Don't just have one or two dates, have many dates, as it increases your chances to find someone you really like. Be friends only at first, and see what happens.

One important aspect of internet dating is writing a profile. It's a bit like selling yourself, so present yourself to your best advantage. At the same time, your profile should reflect the truth about you, without exaggeration. Bragging tends to put people off rather than attract them, but you can point out your strengths without showing off. A good quality, natural, smiling photo with a pleasant background will speak for itself. Your profile doesn't have to be a literary masterpiece, and a little humour always goes down well, without overdoing it, as it could sound shallow. Too many jokes and no one takes you seriously any more!

Your soul mate is a person you can love without too much effort. It's someone you don't need to change, someone you can love just as they are. Internet dating enables us to find that person, because it allows us to ask all the questions usually considered inappropriate or even rude under different circumstances, regarding health habits, finances, previous relationships, children, etc.

I'm sure there's someone out there, dying to meet you. So don't delay, and take action today!