Free Online Dating Advice For Women - The Big 3-0 and You Are Still Dateless! What to Do About It

Okay, that may not be entirely true, you must have dated or are openly dating right now. But who are you dating? Is it the man you think could be right for you or are you settling for just about anyone as long as they are able to talk? In the modern world of gender equality, women still have to contend with one thing that men do not -- we still want to find the right guy and have babies, before we grow too old to have kids safely. This is why when we reach 30 and we have yet to find a guy to marry, no matter how much we try to deny it, we feel a bit scared.

Career-wise, we are already stable; we can even support a family of five! But the thing is, at the end of the day, you realize that you have spent so much time building a career that you have forgotten to seriously think about the other important factor in your future - a companion.

With online dating, you just might have another opportunity to find the right guy. You do not have to settle for someone that seems okay, you can have options. You may be wondering what difference it makes, you still need time to get to know him, to build a relationship with him. That is true, but the good thing here is that you get to choose the most possible matches to your personality or to your ideal man. And you do not have limits - the world becomes your playground. You get to meet people from other states, other countries even.

For a time, everyone thought that the bad press online dating suffered from is still true, but here's a newsflash - online dating has now become too mainstream for it to be dangerous. While it is true that some unscrupulous beings still hunt online, people like you are more knowledgeable of this technology and can readily take precautions against these predators. Additionally, the safety is better; most dating sites do background checks on their members at the very least. Moreover, you are smart enough to protect yourself by not giving out too much personal information until you are sure that he can be trusted.

So what are you waiting for? Your next successful date might just be in cyber world, waiting for you to show up.

Free Internet Dating Advice - Be Safe Online

Dating online is certainly a fun activity to pass the time and maybe even find the man of you dreams. Nevertheless, it should not be said enough that online dating can be as dangerous as real dating. In real first dates, you make sure that you are protected by having friends know where you are and who you are with or by carrying a pepper spray at least. Online dating should be treated with similar care. You do not want to be scammed into something, or get your computer infected, or worse, to meet a stalker or a serial killer.

Just like meeting someone on the street or a cafe, you should be careful not to give too much information right away when you first chat with a person online. An exact address is not necessary when you talk with someone in a chatroom. People who join online dating services know this, and respect this too. So if someone you are chatting with for the first time pushes your for more details like a phone number, or the address of the place you work, politely end the conversation.

Of course, vulgarity is also a no-no and any sexual undertones during the first few chats should be regarded as negative. The administrator should know about this and you should be responsible enough to report this kind of abuse.

When you are new in an online dating website, it would be best to stick to using the features it offers. For instance, do not give out your personal email address just yet. You can use the chatroom and the personal message feature of the site instead. Although a public email address is alright (gmail or yahoo addresses) make sure to check the information that is available to the people in your mailing list before giving it to the person you are chatting with.

If you have decided to meet in person, always choose a very public area. like a populated restaurant and never have him pick you up or take you home yet. Reserve that for the following dates when you have already gotten to know him a little bit better.

Safety is a primary concern, whether you're dating online or for real; make sure that you keep yourself safe at all times.

Important Advice If You Are Waiting For Him to Call

Let's go straight to the point: if you are sitting around in wait for your guy to call, you are damaging your relationship. As women, we are very likely to do this when we are in love with men. It is something that many of us have had to grapple with at some point in our lives.
 
When the man in your life promises to call you, you may risk putting your life on hold as you wait for his call. Given that men do not seem good at using the phone, your waiting may seem to go on endlessly as the promised time passes. As the minutes turn to hours without receiving the expected call, your frustration is bound to build up, so much so that you may see that the best course of action is to call him and ask what could be wrong. This is the mistake that many women make.
 
If the man promised to call you at a given time and the promised period passes, you should not spend your time by the phone still waiting for him to call. It is said, and rightly so, that time is money. Well, it is actually more than money. And you will not be able to recover the time you have wasted.
 
Spend your time wisely
 
Instead of wasting hours by phone waiting for that one call, you should make good use of the time by doing something productive. If you do not have anything to do, then go out with your friends. You won't waste time brooding around, which will just make you more frustrated.
 
If the man calls several hours after the promised time and you answer the phone immediately, you will give the impression that your whole life hangs around him. While he may be quite important to you, this signal will just create more damage to your relationship. It is not exactly that he will take you as too cheap and hence lose interest. Rather, he may see this to mean that the battle is over, that he does not have to chase after you. In this comfort, your boyfriend will hardly have any motivation to call. 
 
Give him something to hunt for
 
Men like chasing things by nature. If he sees that you are already deeply involved with him, he will see no reason to call. However, if you send the message that there are other important things in your life, you will spark off his interest to chase after you. As he starts to pursue you with renewed zeal, he will not take calling you for granted. 

Important Advice If You Are Waiting For Him to Call

Let's go straight to the point: if you are sitting around in wait for your guy to call, you are damaging your relationship. As women, we are very likely to do this when we are in love with men. It is something that many of us have had to grapple with at some point in our lives.
 
When the man in your life promises to call you, you may risk putting your life on hold as you wait for his call. Given that men do not seem good at using the phone, your waiting may seem to go on endlessly as the promised time passes. As the minutes turn to hours without receiving the expected call, your frustration is bound to build up, so much so that you may see that the best course of action is to call him and ask what could be wrong. This is the mistake that many women make.
 
If the man promised to call you at a given time and the promised period passes, you should not spend your time by the phone still waiting for him to call. It is said, and rightly so, that time is money. Well, it is actually more than money. And you will not be able to recover the time you have wasted.
 
Spend your time wisely
 
Instead of wasting hours by phone waiting for that one call, you should make good use of the time by doing something productive. If you do not have anything to do, then go out with your friends. You won't waste time brooding around, which will just make you more frustrated.
 
If the man calls several hours after the promised time and you answer the phone immediately, you will give the impression that your whole life hangs around him. While he may be quite important to you, this signal will just create more damage to your relationship. It is not exactly that he will take you as too cheap and hence lose interest. Rather, he may see this to mean that the battle is over, that he does not have to chase after you. In this comfort, your boyfriend will hardly have any motivation to call. 
 
Give him something to hunt for
 
Men like chasing things by nature. If he sees that you are already deeply involved with him, he will see no reason to call. However, if you send the message that there are other important things in your life, you will spark off his interest to chase after you. As he starts to pursue you with renewed zeal, he will not take calling you for granted. 

Men, Avoid These Stupid Online Dating Mistakes!

With the internet and online dating, it really makes finding a date so much more easier and fun to do at the same time. However, if you are just starting out on the internet online dating arena, it will take you some time to get the hang of it. Online dating, like other skills, takes some patience and practice.

It is a common misconception that just because you are using the internet, you are connected to the world even if you are in your pyjamas seated at your computer. Nothing could be more wrong! People will not come and chat with you for no reason. The fact is that you must take your own initiative to actively seek to contact those possible dates you like on these online dating websites. But remember when you are contacting others or you are being contacted by others who are interested, also requires you to use some common sense.

Trust me when I say that there are many idiotic and stupid things that some men are doing on the online dating websites which are doing them more harm than good. These are the guys who will eventually complain that women are ignoring them and online dating does not work. If you are one of these guys, then you must read on to find out what you are doing wrong and what mistakes you are making!

You must first understand what women are looking for on these online dating websites. Women, being women, are creatures that need to be loved and cared for. So naturally they are searching for men who know exactly how to make them feel good, secure and have great time with. They probably want a guy who is intelligent, who listens, has a great sense of humor with a positive attitude. So in order to get some responses and perhaps even get to know women more closely by online dating, you first ought to stop making mistakes like below :

Mistake 1

Never send women pictures of your "privates". This will turn many women off and they might they you are a pervert! They will ask you if they want to see that.

Women usually browse through the profiles to find their match just like everybody do. So do post a good recent picture of yourself. Choose the best one with a nice picture that shows your sense of humor or style, a bit of your character.

Mistake 2

Check your profile over and make sure your profile contains proper spelling and grammar. Do not ruin your chances with simple mistakes in your profile. No women appreciate a stupid man or a man who can't spell. This is time well spent to get a response.

Mistake 3

Do not use a nickname that has a sexual innuendo ( unless you are on an adult dating site). Most women on online dating websites usually like men with some class. Why risk your chances?

Mistake 4

Do not use negative words in your profile. Comparing a negative and a positive man online, there is no doubt that women are much more likely to be attracted to the positive one.

Mistake 5

Do not send every woman on the online dating site exactly the same email. Personalize each email that you send out to each woman to show them that you are sincere. Put in some thought and you will be rewarded. Just imagine : these women probably get hundreds of emails from all sort of guys. Thus you must make yours stand out from the rest!

10 Tips For a Romantic Summer

Summer is coming and romance is in the air but are you at a loss to think of something to impress your girlfriend? I have has come up with some great ideas and published them below. Make your girl feel like a princess this summertime.

1. Meet her after work with a picnic

2. Book a surprise weekend away: Paris or Venice for traditional romance; or how about
Stockholm or Croatia for the more adventurous

3. Transform your garden into a midsummer night's dream with cushions, blankets and music

4. Drink champagne under the stars

5. Buy oysters, truffles and other aphrodisiacs and have dinner in the open air

6. On a rainy day, create an indoor spa and give your lady a massage with sensual oils and lashings of tenderness.

7. Buy her some luxurious underwear and help her try it on.

8. Create a treasure hunt in your home - the final treasure might be you...

9. Arrange a day in the countryside: walking, swimming, picknicking and enjoying a break from the hustle and bustle of city life

10. Tell her she's beautiful and kiss her all over!

One of the most important things is that as a guy you really show that you care. Us guys may feel deeply for a partner but we don't always show it to them. It's important in a healthy relationship to show sensitivity and consideration for your partner....come on guys how hard can that be on occasion!

Have a great summer and if you have any ideas then please let us know!

Men, Avoid These Stupid Online Dating Mistakes!

With the internet and online dating, it really makes finding a date so much more easier and fun to do at the same time. However, if you are just starting out on the internet online dating arena, it will take you some time to get the hang of it. Online dating, like other skills, takes some patience and practice.

It is a common misconception that just because you are using the internet, you are connected to the world even if you are in your pyjamas seated at your computer. Nothing could be more wrong! People will not come and chat with you for no reason. The fact is that you must take your own initiative to actively seek to contact those possible dates you like on these online dating websites. But remember when you are contacting others or you are being contacted by others who are interested, also requires you to use some common sense.

Trust me when I say that there are many idiotic and stupid things that some men are doing on the online dating websites which are doing them more harm than good. These are the guys who will eventually complain that women are ignoring them and online dating does not work. If you are one of these guys, then you must read on to find out what you are doing wrong and what mistakes you are making!

You must first understand what women are looking for on these online dating websites. Women, being women, are creatures that need to be loved and cared for. So naturally they are searching for men who know exactly how to make them feel good, secure and have great time with. They probably want a guy who is intelligent, who listens, has a great sense of humor with a positive attitude. So in order to get some responses and perhaps even get to know women more closely by online dating, you first ought to stop making mistakes like below :

Mistake 1

Never send women pictures of your "privates". This will turn many women off and they might they you are a pervert! They will ask you if they want to see that.

Women usually browse through the profiles to find their match just like everybody do. So do post a good recent picture of yourself. Choose the best one with a nice picture that shows your sense of humor or style, a bit of your character.

Mistake 2

Check your profile over and make sure your profile contains proper spelling and grammar. Do not ruin your chances with simple mistakes in your profile. No women appreciate a stupid man or a man who can't spell. This is time well spent to get a response.

Mistake 3

Do not use a nickname that has a sexual innuendo ( unless you are on an adult dating site). Most women on online dating websites usually like men with some class. Why risk your chances?

Mistake 4

Do not use negative words in your profile. Comparing a negative and a positive man online, there is no doubt that women are much more likely to be attracted to the positive one.

Mistake 5

Do not send every woman on the online dating site exactly the same email. Personalize each email that you send out to each woman to show them that you are sincere. Put in some thought and you will be rewarded. Just imagine : these women probably get hundreds of emails from all sort of guys. Thus you must make yours stand out from the rest!

What Clothes to Wear on a First Date

Deciding what clothes to wear on a first date is not an easy decision to make. The most important piece of advice to remember is, always plan in advance what outfit you are going to wear. Along with planning, choosing the most appropriate outfit to suit your shape, style and the location of the date is also vital. If you are unsure what clothes are best for you, it is a good idea to ask your friends or family members for guidance.

The first thing to take into consideration is the location of the date. This is useful as it will help you decide whether to go for a casual look or a formal look. Always dress in suitable attire for the date location. If you know you are going to a fancy restaurant, then you are required to have more formal look as opposed to going to the cinema, where a casual look is sufficient. Although a casual look is suitable for many date ideas, this doesn't mean you don't need to make an effort. Regardless of the date venue, it is essential that you always make an effort to look your best.

Overdressing for a date can unfortunately make you look a little silly and stand out. There is no point in wearing a party dress or smart suit and tie if you know you are going bowling or to the cinema. On the other hand if you know you are going to an expensive restaurant, wearing jeans and a t-shirt is not a good idea. You may find yourself in a situation where you don't know where your date is taking you. In this instance it is usually better to be slightly overdressed than underdressed, although there is no need to wear a tuxedo or a ball gown. If unsure you can always accompany your outfit with a stylish jacket or cardigan which can be taken off depending on the type of date.

When choosing your outfit, make sure it will show off your best features and conceal the features you aren't as happy with. There is no point in wearing an outfit that shows off a part of your body you are uncomfortable with, this will only result in drawing attention to that particular area. If you happen to have wide hips or a large bottom, don't wear clothes that are tight in these areas. Choose clothes that will emphasise other areas of your body. You can use bright colour clothing or even accessories to draw attention away from an area of your body, or perhaps even draw attention to a particular area.

It is important to take into account your personal style and your age when choosing an outfit. Don't try to change your image completely when going on a date otherwise you will feel the need to keep up with the new image for future dates. It is okay to try something new, such as a new hair style, new shoes, or even a new outfit, but don't be too drastic by going for a totally new look. It is a bad idea to dress older or younger than your actual age. You need to be realistic and dress appropriately otherwise you risk making yourself look ridiculous.

Many people think covering up their body with large baggy clothing will disguise them, but this is not true. This will only result in making you look uncomfortable and draw attention to you. Wearing baggy clothes is just as bad as wearing clothes that are too tight. Clothes that are too tight are not a good idea, especially if you are going out for dinner or going on an active date, such as bowling. Not only are they restricting, tight clothes can often make you look larger than you actually are, not to mention the fact you may end up bulging out of them at the end of a dinner date, which is not ideal.

Many people choose their perfect outfit and then forget about what shoes they are going to wear. It is just as important to choose appropriate shoes as it is to choose an appropriate outfit. It is essential that shoes are clean, match your outfit and fit properly. The last thing you want is to be in pain with blisters and look uncomfortable. Make sure the shoes are a comfortable fit, and if need be wear them prior to the date just to break them in.

Looking your best on a date doesn't mean you need to be wearing the latest fashion or wearing labels from head to foot. It is okay to wear a fashion label, just as long as you don't go over the top and have designer labels showing on every garment. You risk looking like a fashion victim which could imply that you are high maintenance. This can be off putting for many people who may believe that you are out of their league.

Once you have chosen your desired outfit, it's time to make sure it is in pristine condition. Try on your outfit, preferably in advance and not on the day of the date, just to make sure it doesn't have any stains or rips and fits you properly. This will give you time to wash it if necessary and even choose a different outfit. You may have forgotten about a stain you got on it last time you wore it, or even put on a few pounds since. The last thing you want is to be late for a date and panic because you forgot to check your outfit was in perfect condition.

It is recommended that you always have a back up outfit to hand as you never know when it may be needed. Your spare outfit should also be tried on when trying on your desired outfit, just to make sure it will be sufficient if anything should happen to your preferred clothing. Your first choice of outfit may be in perfect condition, but you need a backup outfit just in case something happens to your chosen clothes, such as a make up stain, or an aftershave spill.

There is no need to panic when trying to decide what to wear on a date. Regardless of the outfit you choose to wear, it is important that you feel comfortable wearing it and that it suits your body shape and style. If you feel comfortable in your clothes, you will appear more relaxed on a date and spend more time enjoying yourself rather than worrying about how you look. As long as you are clean and tidy and look like you have made an effort, then you are sure to make a great first impression.

How to Write an Online Dating Profile That Works!

Whoa, she is actually interesting besides being cute. I think to myself if I could at least meet her, the thirty dollars I have to peel off my credit card for joining will actually be worth it.

That one profile got me hooked. I sit down and craft a profile that I think describes me and I upload a variety of pictures that I suppose represent me fairly well. I excitedly send out a ton of emails to everyone I want to meet in anticipation of some incredible dates.

Twenty unanswered emails later I cancel my account; I admit defeat. I did not meet the woman that I was hoping to meet; I did not even get one date. My first attempt at online dating was an utter failure. I was disheartened checking an empty email box day after day, wondering if my send button was even working.

After months of experimenting I have more dates than I even have time for and am meeting fascinating intelligent beautiful women every week.

Success is all about putting your best face forward while differentiating yourself from the crowd of faces.

Part 1 - Photos

A friend of mine once told me she made sure she put pictures up that represented her in a variety of looks, so that no one would be surprised when they met her. She didn't want to put up only her best shots. While I applaud her sense of honesty, people online have a "Next!" mentality. Any little thing will cause someone to delete your email or pass over your profile. Putting yourself forward both good and bad is great in person, and in fact makes you more attractive. Putting up your faults, or non-flattering pictures online is a recipe for failure. The idea is to get them to meet you, and then you have a chance to find out who that person is and vice versa.

The most successful online daters are people with good photos. If you are serious enough to try online dating, be serious enough to go take some professional photos. Don't do glamor shots, have the photographer take photos that may be candid, or less posed. By having a professional do it, the photos will be much more flattering. Black and white close-ups are a very flattering shot to add among your other photos as well.

Try adding some photos of you in your travels or doing sports to show your active and adventurous side. These should be flattering but usually are easier to take yourself or pick from your photo collection because they often aren't close-ups.

Part 2 - Profile

I am fun, optimistic, adventurous, down-to-earth, and love life! Sounds like the perfect person doesn't it? Well then there are millions of perfect people out there for you because just about every profile online says this same thing in different ways. There is a lot of advice out there on writing a good profile but I want to give you a format to write something actually interesting and different while still presenting who you are.

Start with one of those character traits about you. Instead of just saying you are that, give us an example with a quick anecdote that shows it. Examples from my profile:

Adventurous:

I once told a jungle shaman to put two cats in his mouth; I was a bit embarrassed when I realize what I had said in Spanish.

Goofy:

I find that doing a John Travolta dance move in the middle of a busy intersection doesn't attract as many strange looks as I would have thought. No wonder I like a bad pun so much, at least I get a groan.

Open Minded:

The strangest person I have ever given a hug to was the man who did a handstand for hours upside down with his head on the bottom of a corona bottle in Union Square last year. He was standing up sharing with me his philosophy of the upside down people in a right side up world, with me appreciating the poetry of his slightly insane worldview.

"You are an individual, just like everyone else."

The key to making a profile is stop TELLING them who you are, and instead SHOW them who you are with examples and experiences. There are tons of adventurous people out there. How do YOU manifest that?

Don't explain every detail. Leave some mystery; give them something to ask you about. Make it easy for them to email you with questions. There was nothing more frustrating to me than finding a person I liked, then scouring the profile just to figure out a question to ask them. "I am fun, lively, and down to earth" leaves me with only the question "How are you that way?" Unfortunately that is just a little too big of a question for a first email.

Step 3 - Email

I wrote a lot of interesting, witty, funny, insulting, bizarre, emails all in attempts to get responses. In the end I found no one thing got me any more responses than another. In fact the more witty, clever, and humorous I tried to be the more I screwed it up. I made a lot of discoveries throughout my online dating adventure. One is that the email is a lot less important than the picture and profile. Here are some other insights:

No one likes a form letter.

Actually read the profile for a quick question about something they put in there.

Keep the questions in your first email short.

I hate close ended questions (yes or no) in real conversations; they shut down conversation instead of stimulate it. The interesting thing is that in an email no one will reply with just a yes or no, and because the question is short and quick it is easy to answer. Start with a quick question like "When you were in Peru did you make it to the Amazon?" They will answer more than a one-word answer yet won't feel like they have to write a book. If you ask "What was your experience like in Peru?" they may just put your email on hold for when they have more time to reply. Hopefully they find that time.

Keep all your emails short.

I like to ask a quick question then relate to it with a very short experience or example of mine. Don't take up more than a paragraph. Remember the longer the email the more someone will feel like they have to write back to you. Short emails get more response than long emails.

Build relationships in real life, not online or over the phone.

The internet is a scary place. Many people recommend taking your time to get to know someone before meeting them in person. While I agree with that, the reality is most of the time you will know in a couple emails or after a phone call. Don't be afraid to move to coffee at a public coffee shop after a few emails. In fact it can be a huge waste of your time to build a relationship over email or phone. I rarely meet someone who is the same in person as they are online, over the phone, or in email. Sometimes that is a good thing, other times I found I got too wrapped up liking the person only to find that in person we had no chemistry. I always tried for two or three emails from me then suggesting we meet for coffee.

Put these online dating tips into action and start getting better dates!

Be safe and don't take any of it too seriously. I found that the people I was most excited to meet often didn't measure up and often I was surprised that I liked some more than I would have thought. However online dating is a numbers game even more so than meeting people in real life. Don't get too attached to getting a reply or date from any one person. If you keep that in mind and realize that it can be very empowering to have more dates than you have time for, online dating can be a very rewarding experience. You never know who you might just meet!

How to Write an Online Dating Profile That Works!

Whoa, she is actually interesting besides being cute. I think to myself if I could at least meet her, the thirty dollars I have to peel off my credit card for joining will actually be worth it.

That one profile got me hooked. I sit down and craft a profile that I think describes me and I upload a variety of pictures that I suppose represent me fairly well. I excitedly send out a ton of emails to everyone I want to meet in anticipation of some incredible dates.

Twenty unanswered emails later I cancel my account; I admit defeat. I did not meet the woman that I was hoping to meet; I did not even get one date. My first attempt at online dating was an utter failure. I was disheartened checking an empty email box day after day, wondering if my send button was even working.

After months of experimenting I have more dates than I even have time for and am meeting fascinating intelligent beautiful women every week.

Success is all about putting your best face forward while differentiating yourself from the crowd of faces.

Part 1 - Photos

A friend of mine once told me she made sure she put pictures up that represented her in a variety of looks, so that no one would be surprised when they met her. She didn't want to put up only her best shots. While I applaud her sense of honesty, people online have a "Next!" mentality. Any little thing will cause someone to delete your email or pass over your profile. Putting yourself forward both good and bad is great in person, and in fact makes you more attractive. Putting up your faults, or non-flattering pictures online is a recipe for failure. The idea is to get them to meet you, and then you have a chance to find out who that person is and vice versa.

The most successful online daters are people with good photos. If you are serious enough to try online dating, be serious enough to go take some professional photos. Don't do glamor shots, have the photographer take photos that may be candid, or less posed. By having a professional do it, the photos will be much more flattering. Black and white close-ups are a very flattering shot to add among your other photos as well.

Try adding some photos of you in your travels or doing sports to show your active and adventurous side. These should be flattering but usually are easier to take yourself or pick from your photo collection because they often aren't close-ups.

Part 2 - Profile

I am fun, optimistic, adventurous, down-to-earth, and love life! Sounds like the perfect person doesn't it? Well then there are millions of perfect people out there for you because just about every profile online says this same thing in different ways. There is a lot of advice out there on writing a good profile but I want to give you a format to write something actually interesting and different while still presenting who you are.

Start with one of those character traits about you. Instead of just saying you are that, give us an example with a quick anecdote that shows it. Examples from my profile:

Adventurous:

I once told a jungle shaman to put two cats in his mouth; I was a bit embarrassed when I realize what I had said in Spanish.

Goofy:

I find that doing a John Travolta dance move in the middle of a busy intersection doesn't attract as many strange looks as I would have thought. No wonder I like a bad pun so much, at least I get a groan.

Open Minded:

The strangest person I have ever given a hug to was the man who did a handstand for hours upside down with his head on the bottom of a corona bottle in Union Square last year. He was standing up sharing with me his philosophy of the upside down people in a right side up world, with me appreciating the poetry of his slightly insane worldview.

"You are an individual, just like everyone else."

The key to making a profile is stop TELLING them who you are, and instead SHOW them who you are with examples and experiences. There are tons of adventurous people out there. How do YOU manifest that?

Don't explain every detail. Leave some mystery; give them something to ask you about. Make it easy for them to email you with questions. There was nothing more frustrating to me than finding a person I liked, then scouring the profile just to figure out a question to ask them. "I am fun, lively, and down to earth" leaves me with only the question "How are you that way?" Unfortunately that is just a little too big of a question for a first email.

Step 3 - Email

I wrote a lot of interesting, witty, funny, insulting, bizarre, emails all in attempts to get responses. In the end I found no one thing got me any more responses than another. In fact the more witty, clever, and humorous I tried to be the more I screwed it up. I made a lot of discoveries throughout my online dating adventure. One is that the email is a lot less important than the picture and profile. Here are some other insights:

No one likes a form letter.

Actually read the profile for a quick question about something they put in there.

Keep the questions in your first email short.

I hate close ended questions (yes or no) in real conversations; they shut down conversation instead of stimulate it. The interesting thing is that in an email no one will reply with just a yes or no, and because the question is short and quick it is easy to answer. Start with a quick question like "When you were in Peru did you make it to the Amazon?" They will answer more than a one-word answer yet won't feel like they have to write a book. If you ask "What was your experience like in Peru?" they may just put your email on hold for when they have more time to reply. Hopefully they find that time.

Keep all your emails short.

I like to ask a quick question then relate to it with a very short experience or example of mine. Don't take up more than a paragraph. Remember the longer the email the more someone will feel like they have to write back to you. Short emails get more response than long emails.

Build relationships in real life, not online or over the phone.

The internet is a scary place. Many people recommend taking your time to get to know someone before meeting them in person. While I agree with that, the reality is most of the time you will know in a couple emails or after a phone call. Don't be afraid to move to coffee at a public coffee shop after a few emails. In fact it can be a huge waste of your time to build a relationship over email or phone. I rarely meet someone who is the same in person as they are online, over the phone, or in email. Sometimes that is a good thing, other times I found I got too wrapped up liking the person only to find that in person we had no chemistry. I always tried for two or three emails from me then suggesting we meet for coffee.

Put these online dating tips into action and start getting better dates!

Be safe and don't take any of it too seriously. I found that the people I was most excited to meet often didn't measure up and often I was surprised that I liked some more than I would have thought. However online dating is a numbers game even more so than meeting people in real life. Don't get too attached to getting a reply or date from any one person. If you keep that in mind and realize that it can be very empowering to have more dates than you have time for, online dating can be a very rewarding experience. You never know who you might just meet!

Relationship Advice If You Are Dating

There are simple tips that arm you with relationship advice if you are dating that gives you a fighting chance at success.

• Be yourself and know yourself - Be yourself:  If the person you are trying to impress with fake values and accomplishments does not appreciate the real you, they will not respect you enough to let you "grow into them" anyway.  Know yourself:  Know who YOU are and what you need in order to be fulfilled.  Once you know who you are and what you need, you can fill those needs with a person who possesses the qualities you find necessary.

• Find common ground - get to know someone before considering formal dating.  Identify your core values and interests, and search for things that are in line with how you think and feel about life.

• Know your emotional readiness - If you are only emotionally ready for casual dating, do not fall into something more serious too soon.  People who have been divorced or hurt by love identify with this concept best.  Patience is like gold in relationships. Take small steps toward deeper emotions only when you are ready.

• Do not project past mistakes on future partners - Each day is a new opportunity to leave the past behind. You can not change things that happened or the mistakes you or others made. Start each encounter with a new person with a clean slate, and respect the person in front of you instead of comparing them to people and situations you have been in before.

• Learn to read body language - If your date is squirming in their seat, checking their watch, or watching other people having more fun, it might be time to say goodnight. Do not be discouraged. There will always be opportunities for a relationship with someone else.

• Be polite - Show up (or be ready) for your date on time, open doors, be polite, dress well. Take the time to invest in the success of the relationship by starting off right.

• Keep it simple - For some, dating is an unpleasant experience, regardless of the outcome. Expectations are high, but the fact is they should not be.  Keeping things simple is a great way to really get to know someone.  Meet for lunch or go for a walk.  Then when you get there, be yourself.

• Use the relationship advice of friends and family wisely - Too often, less confident daters turn to friends and relatives, for advice on the "who, what, where, when, and why" of the dating game.   There is something to be said for going with your natural instincts and making your own way.   Use common sense and you will be okay.

• Do not settle for less - Respect yourself enough to avoid "throwaway" relationships, just to be "involved" with another human being.

A Final Word

Remember that just as Rome was not built in a day, you should not expect your relationship to be either.  The best advice is to take things slow, be yourself, know yourself, use common sense, and keep it simple.

Monte Jamison, Founder
PickMySpouse
CommonSenseNation

© 2009

Relationship Advice If You Are Dating

There are simple tips that arm you with relationship advice if you are dating that gives you a fighting chance at success.

• Be yourself and know yourself - Be yourself:  If the person you are trying to impress with fake values and accomplishments does not appreciate the real you, they will not respect you enough to let you "grow into them" anyway.  Know yourself:  Know who YOU are and what you need in order to be fulfilled.  Once you know who you are and what you need, you can fill those needs with a person who possesses the qualities you find necessary.

• Find common ground - get to know someone before considering formal dating.  Identify your core values and interests, and search for things that are in line with how you think and feel about life.

• Know your emotional readiness - If you are only emotionally ready for casual dating, do not fall into something more serious too soon.  People who have been divorced or hurt by love identify with this concept best.  Patience is like gold in relationships. Take small steps toward deeper emotions only when you are ready.

• Do not project past mistakes on future partners - Each day is a new opportunity to leave the past behind. You can not change things that happened or the mistakes you or others made. Start each encounter with a new person with a clean slate, and respect the person in front of you instead of comparing them to people and situations you have been in before.

• Learn to read body language - If your date is squirming in their seat, checking their watch, or watching other people having more fun, it might be time to say goodnight. Do not be discouraged. There will always be opportunities for a relationship with someone else.

• Be polite - Show up (or be ready) for your date on time, open doors, be polite, dress well. Take the time to invest in the success of the relationship by starting off right.

• Keep it simple - For some, dating is an unpleasant experience, regardless of the outcome. Expectations are high, but the fact is they should not be.  Keeping things simple is a great way to really get to know someone.  Meet for lunch or go for a walk.  Then when you get there, be yourself.

• Use the relationship advice of friends and family wisely - Too often, less confident daters turn to friends and relatives, for advice on the "who, what, where, when, and why" of the dating game.   There is something to be said for going with your natural instincts and making your own way.   Use common sense and you will be okay.

• Do not settle for less - Respect yourself enough to avoid "throwaway" relationships, just to be "involved" with another human being.

A Final Word

Remember that just as Rome was not built in a day, you should not expect your relationship to be either.  The best advice is to take things slow, be yourself, know yourself, use common sense, and keep it simple.

Monte Jamison, Founder
PickMySpouse
CommonSenseNation

© 2009

What Women Don't Want in a Man!

Being successful in the dating game is a lot easier when you know what woman DON'T want in a man. Why? Well it is actually pretty simple. Once you learn what turns them OFF you can focus on the opposite which will make them hot for you. Here is what women never want in a guy.

"Going with the Flow"

Are you that really "chill" guy in the group that just goes with the flow? These are the guys that just go out and take things as they come. If their buddies want to hit up a lounge their response is most likely something along the lines of "sure man, I'm down for whatever".

Well guess what? Being the ultimate "chill" guy will make you TONS of friends (that are guys). But I will tell you right now that this attitude will not get you women. This is because women want LEADERS. They want assertive men who make the decisions.

In other words, stop being a follower.

"You're My Everything"

No doubt you have heard a line like this in almost every one of those "cute" boy band songs. Heck, almost every single pop genre song is around love. It's all about the guy going to the ends of the earth for the woman of his dreams.

The newest song I just heard on the radio actually talks about a man who begins living on a street corner with the hope that his ex will miss him and come back to where they met!

This is all crap. Women are not looking for sweet/nice guys. They may SAY they are but they aren't.

Cherishing Her

This one goes hand in hand with the above. You cannot cherish any single woman unless you have had sex with her at least once. Cherishing her is basically putting more value into her than all the other women. Which, no offense, is a pretty stupid thing to do unless you're absolutely SURE that she wants you (you are never sure until you sleep with her).

Relationship Advice If You Are Dating

There are simple tips that arm you with relationship advice if you are dating that gives you a fighting chance at success.

• Be yourself and know yourself - Be yourself:  If the person you are trying to impress with fake values and accomplishments does not appreciate the real you, they will not respect you enough to let you "grow into them" anyway.  Know yourself:  Know who YOU are and what you need in order to be fulfilled.  Once you know who you are and what you need, you can fill those needs with a person who possesses the qualities you find necessary.

• Find common ground - get to know someone before considering formal dating.  Identify your core values and interests, and search for things that are in line with how you think and feel about life.

• Know your emotional readiness - If you are only emotionally ready for casual dating, do not fall into something more serious too soon.  People who have been divorced or hurt by love identify with this concept best.  Patience is like gold in relationships. Take small steps toward deeper emotions only when you are ready.

• Do not project past mistakes on future partners - Each day is a new opportunity to leave the past behind. You can not change things that happened or the mistakes you or others made. Start each encounter with a new person with a clean slate, and respect the person in front of you instead of comparing them to people and situations you have been in before.

• Learn to read body language - If your date is squirming in their seat, checking their watch, or watching other people having more fun, it might be time to say goodnight. Do not be discouraged. There will always be opportunities for a relationship with someone else.

• Be polite - Show up (or be ready) for your date on time, open doors, be polite, dress well. Take the time to invest in the success of the relationship by starting off right.

• Keep it simple - For some, dating is an unpleasant experience, regardless of the outcome. Expectations are high, but the fact is they should not be.  Keeping things simple is a great way to really get to know someone.  Meet for lunch or go for a walk.  Then when you get there, be yourself.

• Use the relationship advice of friends and family wisely - Too often, less confident daters turn to friends and relatives, for advice on the "who, what, where, when, and why" of the dating game.   There is something to be said for going with your natural instincts and making your own way.   Use common sense and you will be okay.

• Do not settle for less - Respect yourself enough to avoid "throwaway" relationships, just to be "involved" with another human being.

A Final Word

Remember that just as Rome was not built in a day, you should not expect your relationship to be either.  The best advice is to take things slow, be yourself, know yourself, use common sense, and keep it simple.

Monte Jamison, Founder
PickMySpouse
CommonSenseNation

© 2009

What Women Don't Want in a Man!

Being successful in the dating game is a lot easier when you know what woman DON'T want in a man. Why? Well it is actually pretty simple. Once you learn what turns them OFF you can focus on the opposite which will make them hot for you. Here is what women never want in a guy.

"Going with the Flow"

Are you that really "chill" guy in the group that just goes with the flow? These are the guys that just go out and take things as they come. If their buddies want to hit up a lounge their response is most likely something along the lines of "sure man, I'm down for whatever".

Well guess what? Being the ultimate "chill" guy will make you TONS of friends (that are guys). But I will tell you right now that this attitude will not get you women. This is because women want LEADERS. They want assertive men who make the decisions.

In other words, stop being a follower.

"You're My Everything"

No doubt you have heard a line like this in almost every one of those "cute" boy band songs. Heck, almost every single pop genre song is around love. It's all about the guy going to the ends of the earth for the woman of his dreams.

The newest song I just heard on the radio actually talks about a man who begins living on a street corner with the hope that his ex will miss him and come back to where they met!

This is all crap. Women are not looking for sweet/nice guys. They may SAY they are but they aren't.

Cherishing Her

This one goes hand in hand with the above. You cannot cherish any single woman unless you have had sex with her at least once. Cherishing her is basically putting more value into her than all the other women. Which, no offense, is a pretty stupid thing to do unless you're absolutely SURE that she wants you (you are never sure until you sleep with her).

Relationship Advice If You Are Dating

There are simple tips that arm you with relationship advice if you are dating that gives you a fighting chance at success.

• Be yourself and know yourself - Be yourself:  If the person you are trying to impress with fake values and accomplishments does not appreciate the real you, they will not respect you enough to let you "grow into them" anyway.  Know yourself:  Know who YOU are and what you need in order to be fulfilled.  Once you know who you are and what you need, you can fill those needs with a person who possesses the qualities you find necessary.

• Find common ground - get to know someone before considering formal dating.  Identify your core values and interests, and search for things that are in line with how you think and feel about life.

• Know your emotional readiness - If you are only emotionally ready for casual dating, do not fall into something more serious too soon.  People who have been divorced or hurt by love identify with this concept best.  Patience is like gold in relationships. Take small steps toward deeper emotions only when you are ready.

• Do not project past mistakes on future partners - Each day is a new opportunity to leave the past behind. You can not change things that happened or the mistakes you or others made. Start each encounter with a new person with a clean slate, and respect the person in front of you instead of comparing them to people and situations you have been in before.

• Learn to read body language - If your date is squirming in their seat, checking their watch, or watching other people having more fun, it might be time to say goodnight. Do not be discouraged. There will always be opportunities for a relationship with someone else.

• Be polite - Show up (or be ready) for your date on time, open doors, be polite, dress well. Take the time to invest in the success of the relationship by starting off right.

• Keep it simple - For some, dating is an unpleasant experience, regardless of the outcome. Expectations are high, but the fact is they should not be.  Keeping things simple is a great way to really get to know someone.  Meet for lunch or go for a walk.  Then when you get there, be yourself.

• Use the relationship advice of friends and family wisely - Too often, less confident daters turn to friends and relatives, for advice on the "who, what, where, when, and why" of the dating game.   There is something to be said for going with your natural instincts and making your own way.   Use common sense and you will be okay.

• Do not settle for less - Respect yourself enough to avoid "throwaway" relationships, just to be "involved" with another human being.

A Final Word

Remember that just as Rome was not built in a day, you should not expect your relationship to be either.  The best advice is to take things slow, be yourself, know yourself, use common sense, and keep it simple.

Monte Jamison, Founder
PickMySpouse
CommonSenseNation

© 2009

Relationship Advice If You Are Dating

There are simple tips that arm you with relationship advice if you are dating that gives you a fighting chance at success.

• Be yourself and know yourself - Be yourself:  If the person you are trying to impress with fake values and accomplishments does not appreciate the real you, they will not respect you enough to let you "grow into them" anyway.  Know yourself:  Know who YOU are and what you need in order to be fulfilled.  Once you know who you are and what you need, you can fill those needs with a person who possesses the qualities you find necessary.

• Find common ground - get to know someone before considering formal dating.  Identify your core values and interests, and search for things that are in line with how you think and feel about life.

• Know your emotional readiness - If you are only emotionally ready for casual dating, do not fall into something more serious too soon.  People who have been divorced or hurt by love identify with this concept best.  Patience is like gold in relationships. Take small steps toward deeper emotions only when you are ready.

• Do not project past mistakes on future partners - Each day is a new opportunity to leave the past behind. You can not change things that happened or the mistakes you or others made. Start each encounter with a new person with a clean slate, and respect the person in front of you instead of comparing them to people and situations you have been in before.

• Learn to read body language - If your date is squirming in their seat, checking their watch, or watching other people having more fun, it might be time to say goodnight. Do not be discouraged. There will always be opportunities for a relationship with someone else.

• Be polite - Show up (or be ready) for your date on time, open doors, be polite, dress well. Take the time to invest in the success of the relationship by starting off right.

• Keep it simple - For some, dating is an unpleasant experience, regardless of the outcome. Expectations are high, but the fact is they should not be.  Keeping things simple is a great way to really get to know someone.  Meet for lunch or go for a walk.  Then when you get there, be yourself.

• Use the relationship advice of friends and family wisely - Too often, less confident daters turn to friends and relatives, for advice on the "who, what, where, when, and why" of the dating game.   There is something to be said for going with your natural instincts and making your own way.   Use common sense and you will be okay.

• Do not settle for less - Respect yourself enough to avoid "throwaway" relationships, just to be "involved" with another human being.

A Final Word

Remember that just as Rome was not built in a day, you should not expect your relationship to be either.  The best advice is to take things slow, be yourself, know yourself, use common sense, and keep it simple.

Monte Jamison, Founder
PickMySpouse
CommonSenseNation

© 2009