Dating and Relationship Advice

If you have recently started dating somebody new and are looking for dating relationship advice then there are a lot of things you should know. Firstly, if you have low self esteem or lack the confidence required to be with a woman, you should read the How to Be Irresistible to Women book, it is great for raising your confidence and teaching you how to talk to women. The following tips have been designed to help you avoid making some common mistakes on your first few dates. If these first dates go well then she will continue to go out with you.

Always maintain good hygiene. Looking good and smelling good is a great idea, because nobody will want to be seen in public with someone who is wearing dirty clothes or smells bad. Especially if you are going to a fancy restaurant.

If alcohol is present where you go on your date, do not drink excessively. If you get drunk she will probably assume you are an alcoholic, and will not want to have to deal with that. If you are going to drink, only have one or two beverages.

Be on time and treat her with respect. Nobody likes waiting for someone. Being there when you say you are going to be there will show her that she can depend on you.

Do not mumble, swear excessively, or spit when you talk. This can only create bad conversation and your date will want to go home early.

Try not to have any expectations for sex or you may be disappointed. Even if everything goes according to plan on the date, and everything was incredible, she might not be ready. It is best to just take things slowly and relax and be yourself. Get to know each other and have a lot of fun before you make things physical.

Understanding Men - Why Men Love the Chase

Its hard to know what's going on in a man's mind. That why relationships can be incredibly frustrating sometimes. In this article we'll delve deep into the depths of the male psyche so you can understand men's mind's better and improve your dating and relationships with the opposite sex. 

Men love chasing women. They love to think that a woman is just out of their reach and if they push a little bit harder they can catch her. This is a good thing for you.  Firstly, it means you shouldn't try to hard to get a mans interest or attention. You don't need to and its counter productive. 

You don't have to pursue romantic relationships like business deals. There a different sort of thing. Romantic relationships have a certain flow and build up. Two steps forward, one step back. Most of the fun is in not being certain how things will pan out. If you sit down and discuss where your relationship is going that takes away the mystery for you and then guy. Then both of you put less effort into the relationship. 

If you show to much interest in the early stages a lot of guys will perceive this as neediness. They'll might think that you're desperate or that you have no other options. They'll worry that you'll try to push him into getting married or having babies before he's ready. It's a natural instinct in men to chase women. It's been there since we lived in caves. Men want to capture things. If things come to easily to them, then they don't place as much value on them. 

So I hope you understand men just a little bit better now. And remember there are loads of quality guys out there so whatever you do, don't settle!

Use Online Dating Sites to Improve Your Game and End the Feast Or Famine Dating Cycle

Many people spend a large chunk of their life struggling to master the art of dating, only to realize in their thirties and forties that most of the people they dated weren't right for them. These folks are not necessarily difficult to please types, it's just that with so much heartache and divorce in the world, they want to make sure they find the perfect match before committing to something longer-lasting.

Unfortunately, in the search for a perfect match it is not uncommon to go through one or two month periods in which you have all the dates that you can handle, and then to go for equally long periods of time where everything seems to dry up and nobody wants to talk to you. It can really make one wonder why it often seems to be a case of feast or famine when it comes to finding someone to date.

The situation described above is not an uncommon one. Fortunately, it is also an easy one to remedy. When dating, peoples' senses are heightened, and your potential mate can smell success or failure from a million miles away. When you are on a roll and dealing with several potential mates at the same time, others pick up on that vibe and feed off it. Likewise, once you hit a dry patch, your confidence plummets and your appeal to the opposite sex also goes south once they sense that you might be getting a little desperate. Some scientists even think that this effect may have a chemical basis behind it, as people can tell from the "smell" you are putting out how successful you might be when it comes to dealings with the opposite sex.

The key to this situation is to always act like you are on top of your game, and to always have a few relationships in your back pocket for cases when things get a little dry. This doesn't mean you have to always forge a deep relationship with every new person you meet, but make use of online dating sites to hook up now and then with new friends. Just the fact that you have a few friends on your list who you are chatting to can give you the hormone and confidence boost you need when you do end up stumbling across your perfect match. At the same time, you are bound to find a few keepers based on the sheer numbers of people you can meet online, so it is advisable to always keep yourself in the game.

How to Get Over Fear When You Approach Woman

If you are a guy who wants to get a girl, you will have to learn how to deal with woman. However, a few people are nervous when they approach girls. This article will give you some tips of how to get over fear when you approach woman.

1. Prepare your mind: One thing that you will need to always remember is that girl is human being just like you are. So, you don't have to be afraid of her. You may be afraid of failing in your approach. That can be normal. But let's face it. Not everything we do is successful. When you start to approach girl, don't expect a perfect result out of it. Then you will see that you have less fear.

2. Be yourself: You don't have to pretend to be something that you are not. This is because when you do that you will feel more nervous. Being yourself helps you to reduce your stress. Then you can focus on making the conversation smooth. It will be more beneficial to your approach.

3. Be confident: You will have to think that you are a very good and charming person. To yourself, nobody is better than you. Pump yourself up and be ready for the approach. If you really believe in yourself, your confidence will shine. And you can approach woman a lot easier.

4. Take a deep breathe: This is a technique I use when I want to win any intense feeling. Oxygen from your deep breathe can help you clearing your brain. You will be able to get over fear by just taking a deep breathe. I always do this and it works quite well.

Having fear when you approach woman can destroy your plan to date. Knowing what to do when you have fear will significantly help you in your approach.

Use Online Dating Sites to Improve Your Game and End the Feast Or Famine Dating Cycle

Many people spend a large chunk of their life struggling to master the art of dating, only to realize in their thirties and forties that most of the people they dated weren't right for them. These folks are not necessarily difficult to please types, it's just that with so much heartache and divorce in the world, they want to make sure they find the perfect match before committing to something longer-lasting.

Unfortunately, in the search for a perfect match it is not uncommon to go through one or two month periods in which you have all the dates that you can handle, and then to go for equally long periods of time where everything seems to dry up and nobody wants to talk to you. It can really make one wonder why it often seems to be a case of feast or famine when it comes to finding someone to date.

The situation described above is not an uncommon one. Fortunately, it is also an easy one to remedy. When dating, peoples' senses are heightened, and your potential mate can smell success or failure from a million miles away. When you are on a roll and dealing with several potential mates at the same time, others pick up on that vibe and feed off it. Likewise, once you hit a dry patch, your confidence plummets and your appeal to the opposite sex also goes south once they sense that you might be getting a little desperate. Some scientists even think that this effect may have a chemical basis behind it, as people can tell from the "smell" you are putting out how successful you might be when it comes to dealings with the opposite sex.

The key to this situation is to always act like you are on top of your game, and to always have a few relationships in your back pocket for cases when things get a little dry. This doesn't mean you have to always forge a deep relationship with every new person you meet, but make use of online dating sites to hook up now and then with new friends. Just the fact that you have a few friends on your list who you are chatting to can give you the hormone and confidence boost you need when you do end up stumbling across your perfect match. At the same time, you are bound to find a few keepers based on the sheer numbers of people you can meet online, so it is advisable to always keep yourself in the game.

How to Get Over Fear When You Approach Woman

If you are a guy who wants to get a girl, you will have to learn how to deal with woman. However, a few people are nervous when they approach girls. This article will give you some tips of how to get over fear when you approach woman.

1. Prepare your mind: One thing that you will need to always remember is that girl is human being just like you are. So, you don't have to be afraid of her. You may be afraid of failing in your approach. That can be normal. But let's face it. Not everything we do is successful. When you start to approach girl, don't expect a perfect result out of it. Then you will see that you have less fear.

2. Be yourself: You don't have to pretend to be something that you are not. This is because when you do that you will feel more nervous. Being yourself helps you to reduce your stress. Then you can focus on making the conversation smooth. It will be more beneficial to your approach.

3. Be confident: You will have to think that you are a very good and charming person. To yourself, nobody is better than you. Pump yourself up and be ready for the approach. If you really believe in yourself, your confidence will shine. And you can approach woman a lot easier.

4. Take a deep breathe: This is a technique I use when I want to win any intense feeling. Oxygen from your deep breathe can help you clearing your brain. You will be able to get over fear by just taking a deep breathe. I always do this and it works quite well.

Having fear when you approach woman can destroy your plan to date. Knowing what to do when you have fear will significantly help you in your approach.

The Challenge Men Face When Wanting to Know What Women Want

Often time's men will come to me wanting to know, what are the one or two specific things that every woman wants? Yet, truth be told while there are some generalities that many women will want and desire in a man, none of that matters in regards to the woman that you want to attract.

One of the biggest challenges that any man who begins looking to change himself in order to fit into the mold of what every woman wants is two fold.

1. Change, is a very difficult process especially when done for reasons other than improving yourself.
2. All women don't want the same things

Instead of wanting to know what women want, since as you surely know by now there is no reliable way of knowing and more importantly it will take entirely too much work for you to change into that man if you even can.

What you can begin to do, is ask yourself what it is that you want in a woman.

When you begin to ask yourself an empowering question such as this you then have a much better chance of discovering a woman that fits into that mold or a woman who is much more willing to fit into that mold for you.

One of the main reasons for this is because believe it or not what a lot of women desire in a man is someone who knows what he wants and when you become that man while you might not attract all the women in the world.

What you will have begun to do, is move towards becoming the kind of man that knows what he wants in a woman and most importantly isn't going to change himself in order to maybe attract one specific woman.

In the end, once you realize that you can't move towards being the kind of man that all women want you can then feel free to begin creating the kind of life that you truly want and start right now to move towards becoming the kind of man that you want to be in all ways.

How to Get Over Fear When You Approach Woman

If you are a guy who wants to get a girl, you will have to learn how to deal with woman. However, a few people are nervous when they approach girls. This article will give you some tips of how to get over fear when you approach woman.

1. Prepare your mind: One thing that you will need to always remember is that girl is human being just like you are. So, you don't have to be afraid of her. You may be afraid of failing in your approach. That can be normal. But let's face it. Not everything we do is successful. When you start to approach girl, don't expect a perfect result out of it. Then you will see that you have less fear.

2. Be yourself: You don't have to pretend to be something that you are not. This is because when you do that you will feel more nervous. Being yourself helps you to reduce your stress. Then you can focus on making the conversation smooth. It will be more beneficial to your approach.

3. Be confident: You will have to think that you are a very good and charming person. To yourself, nobody is better than you. Pump yourself up and be ready for the approach. If you really believe in yourself, your confidence will shine. And you can approach woman a lot easier.

4. Take a deep breathe: This is a technique I use when I want to win any intense feeling. Oxygen from your deep breathe can help you clearing your brain. You will be able to get over fear by just taking a deep breathe. I always do this and it works quite well.

Having fear when you approach woman can destroy your plan to date. Knowing what to do when you have fear will significantly help you in your approach.

The Challenge Men Face When Wanting to Know What Women Want

Often time's men will come to me wanting to know, what are the one or two specific things that every woman wants? Yet, truth be told while there are some generalities that many women will want and desire in a man, none of that matters in regards to the woman that you want to attract.

One of the biggest challenges that any man who begins looking to change himself in order to fit into the mold of what every woman wants is two fold.

1. Change, is a very difficult process especially when done for reasons other than improving yourself.
2. All women don't want the same things

Instead of wanting to know what women want, since as you surely know by now there is no reliable way of knowing and more importantly it will take entirely too much work for you to change into that man if you even can.

What you can begin to do, is ask yourself what it is that you want in a woman.

When you begin to ask yourself an empowering question such as this you then have a much better chance of discovering a woman that fits into that mold or a woman who is much more willing to fit into that mold for you.

One of the main reasons for this is because believe it or not what a lot of women desire in a man is someone who knows what he wants and when you become that man while you might not attract all the women in the world.

What you will have begun to do, is move towards becoming the kind of man that knows what he wants in a woman and most importantly isn't going to change himself in order to maybe attract one specific woman.

In the end, once you realize that you can't move towards being the kind of man that all women want you can then feel free to begin creating the kind of life that you truly want and start right now to move towards becoming the kind of man that you want to be in all ways.

The Free Dating Web Sites Debate - Choose Between Niche Vs General

When it comes to free dating websites, you'll find plenty of options available. That's part of the beauty of them. In fact, they have become so popular among users and advertisers that the crop continues to grow and this has led to the development of some niche dating sites. Below is an overview of the differences between these free dating web sites and some advice to help you make the right choice.

What are Niche Free Dating Sites?

When you hear people talking about niche dating sites, they are referring to sites, usually free dating web sites, which cater to people with specific interests. For example, Christian dating sites have become one of the most popular of these niche options. If your religious faith is important to you, you might choose one of these sites so you can find someone who shares that faith. Religion is only one category of niche-based dating web sites, however. Some are geared towards certain racial or ethnic groups. Some are geared towards people who have certain incomes or work in specific professions. You might also find these sites available for people interested in same sex relationships.

In comparison, general sites are open to almost anyone. If you're not interested in limiting your choices, these sites would be the better choice.

Disadvantages to the Niche Sites

One of the major drawbacks of these niche sites is the community size. Chances are you're just not going to find as many people available. While you could argue that you don't need to meet dozens of people, just the right one, you do improve your odds finding that special person when you have more choices at hand.

Another drawback is that even at these niche sites, not everyone is going to be fitting into that niche. That doesn't mean you're likely to find conniving atheists at the Christian free dating web sites looking to coerce young singles but it does mean that some of the people may just be drawn to smaller venues so they have better odds.

Disadvantages of General Sites

With free dating web sites, you'll still find quite a few of the general sites, too. While you will have a larger database of potential mates, you may have to do a lot more searching to find the right person who fits what you were looking for. Even when you do find some choices, you might be disappointed to learn that they may not be interested in what you have to offer. Plus, the extra competition can be enormous and getting noticed can take a lot of work, plus a stellar profile.

The Best Solution

Since we're talking about free dating web sites, there's no reason you can't try your luck at both types of sites. Have a profile at niche sites that fit your interests and at a general site or two so you can cast a wider net. The combination can help you catch more fish.

When to Cancel a Date, and How to Do It

If you've been reading this newsletter for a while now, you know that we tend to move freely between the philosophical and the practical around here. Well, today's edition is going to be decidedly practical.

In fact, what I'm about to share with you is something that EVERY MAN should know: WHEN to call off a date you've already set up with a woman, and exactly how to go about it.

Honestly, I'm a bit surprised that literally NOBODY ever has covered this subject in the world of men's dating and seduction advice, at least as far as I've seen.

Then again, there's so much focus on actually GETTING a date if you're NOT seeing much action that I can see how that skill remains the priority.

But hey, if you're about going from GOOD to GREAT with women, and if you're about becoming the CHOOSER rather than the CHASER, then you're going to have to get your "cancellation skills" in order here.

So enough of an intro. What follows are EIGHT GOOD REASONS to cancel a date with a woman, and what to do in each situation. Get your sense of humor on, because here we go:

1) She Already Sort Of Makes You Mad

I have no idea why we as guys do this to ourselves. Oh wait...yes I do. She's hot.

But dude, if you already find your blood beginning to boil during simple phone conversations with her, it isn't going to go any better in person.

The same holds true if she flat-out irritates you in some way. It could be her laugh, her political views or that way she friggin' interrupts you constantly or tries to lecture you on what you already know how to do in your sleep.

Maybe it's that generally speaking, she's generally speaking.

No matter WHAT it is, here's the deal: If you don't get along, why go through with the date? Simply call out the gorilla in the room: You're sure she's a "great person" or something, but the two of you just seem to be missing each other.

Be the man here and save her the (further) discomfort of bringing it up herself.

2) You're Already Bored

Another thing that can happen when we finally set up a first meeting with a particularly hot woman is that we COMPLETELY OVERLOOK the fact that she has the personality of a paper clip.

Let's face it, if you're dreading the date more than you're excited about it-primarily because you're 100% sure the conversation is going to be awkward, at best-it's time to grow some self-respect and cancel the date.

The same M.O. as above holds true here. Tell her she's very "nice", but that you don't think the two of you are a match. She'll be much happier with a guy who's conversation enraptures her a bit more than yours.

Yeah, this is a variation on the "it's not you, it's me" concept, but it's also probably true. Just about every tedious person I know eventually finds someone with whom he or she gets along perfectly. How or why that's possible, who knows?

Chalk it up to the uniqueness of individuals and what makes them happy.

And by all means, if the fact you've even PLANNED the date a few days ago has slipped your mind until you look at your schedule...do the right thing. Free the woman up to go out with someone who cares.

3) Signs Of Games, Potential Flakiness, Or Getting Played

If this one doesn't get to the very heart of "self-respect", I don't know what does. It's no secret that women "test" you. Especially particularly hot ones.

But as a "selector" who is in total control of his dating life, you've got to draw the line on where "testing" turns into blatant game playing or even flat-out manipulation.

For example, if she calls you at 3 in the afternoon on the day you are allegedly supposed to take her out that night and says, "Oh, hey...I can't make it. How about some other time?" then she'd better have brought an excuse along.

And it had better be a REAL GOOD one, along the lines of #6 or #7 below.

If you want to be the leader in this situation, again call it as you see it. If the excuse is legit, DO GIVE HER A CHANCE.

I realize some may tell you to cut her off right then and there, but in my mind to do that smacks of personal insecurity. Think about it.

Sometimes stuff really does come up, and you have to respect that. Believe it or not, Emily actually canceled our first date together. And obviously things worked out pretty well when we rescheduled.

But if she's just running lame "flake out" game on you, tell her it's all good...you suddenly agree that BOTH OF YOU have better things to do.

If you find yourself uttering these words, here's a caveat: This will likely fry her circuits and give her a fresh dose of amped up attraction for you. Forget it. The die has been cast with regard to what you can expect from her in the future.

Here's a dime. Find a more mature woman to date instead of a little girl. You don't have to tell her I said that...exactly.

4) You've Never Seen More Than One Pic Of Her, Or Have Never Talked On The Phone

This is for you guys out there who are online. One pic on her profile isn't going to cut it. Ask for more.

If she's offended you would ask, let that be a red flag. If she won't talk to you on the phone before meeting you, let that be another. And as you know by now, red flags do not a pleasant dating experience make.

By the way, the same holds true if a "blind date" is in the works. You won't be offending the friend who set the two of you up if you ask for the pics and the phone number ahead of time. Really.

If you don't get any joy here, explain that you simply cannot commit your time and energy to meeting her if she is unwilling to commit the time and energy to assure you there's a possibility of mutual interest. Period.

For most guys, exactly one disastrous result of having overlooked these details in favor of misplaced optimism is enough for the lesson at hand to be learned. I'm trying to save you from having to learn it the hard way.

5) The "Set Up"

It goes like this. You've taken the lead by suggesting a certain game plan for your time together. She appreciates that and seems excited to join you.

Then you get a call. No wait, make that an email or a text.

It invariably starts with "Hey..."

"Hey...is it okay if my sister tags along? She's really feeling down and hasn't been out in a while."

If you say "yes" to this, you may as well have agreed to her bringing a posse of bodyguards, a couple of blue-haired chaperones and a rocket scientist along too.

Chances are you probably have not succeeded at creating COMFORT and SECURITY here ahead of time.

Step back and regroup. Have you suggested a public meeting place or taking separate cars if the two of you barely know each other?

If not, tell her you'd prefer being able to give her your undivided attention.

Then let her know you want her to feel comfortable with the meeting, so you're changing the venue to a place where there will be plenty of other people around...if not her sister, per se.

Another variation to watch out for her is when SHE suggests a venue change at the last minute.

For example, you had arranged to meet at a Thai restaurant. Thirty minutes beforehand, she calls and suggests you meet at Morton's Steak House instead.

I don't think so. And neither should you. Once you set the precedent of falling for that, your relationship with her is about to get REALLY pricey...and REALLY platonic, too.

6) One Or The Other Of You Is Feeling Sick

Now we get to the "legit" portion of the discussion.

Certainly, there's varying degrees of "sick". If you have a headache, wolf down some ibuprofen and plan on it working. After all, having to call off a date you're genuinely psyched about is a major bummer.

But look man, if you're hurling up your insides and/or sneezing your sinuses into submission, you're just going to have to face up to reality.

And that reality is this: If you're physical state is going to cause MORE HARM to the attraction process and/or to the relationship itself than getting a rain check, then you've GOT to reschedule.

Make the decision and run with it. If you need to postpone the date, then call her and FIRMLY RESCHEDULE it then and there. Suggest a time to her and preferably make it at the same place.

If you get pushback from a skeptical woman, state VERY CLEARLY that this is no joke. You are genuinely looking forward to hanging out with her, but it's going to have to be after you've kicked whatever is ailing you.

Now if SHE'S the one calling you to announce that she has fallen ill, simply apply the logic in reverse. If she's seriously not feeling well, she'll be profusely apologetic and offer a time to reschedule. That's what you'll be looking for in that conversation.

If she's unwilling to reschedule, it's probably a cop-out. Either that or she's already on her way to the hospital and losing consciousness.

7) Genuine Priority Adjustment

We've all seen it happen. You have a great date planned with a woman you've had your eye on for WEEKS...but Murphy has other plans.

I remember one time in college I finally figured out how to strike up a conversation with a girl named Gwen, who I only saw maybe once or twice a week...max. She agreed to play racquetball with me the following night.

Completely stoked about that for the next eighteen hours, I went to my afternoon class...where the professor casually reminded us the MID-TERM EXAM was the next day.

I had to cancel the date. And unfortunately, the date never ended up happening.

But I aced my class. And I graduated from college and got a job afterward.

Hopefully, if something comes up that represents a higher priority than going on a date, you'll be better at rescheduling with a firm time and place than I was.

And make no mistake, there are LOTS of possibilities when it's time to list what's probably more important than going on a date. Unexpected business trips, family emergencies, playoff tickets...

8) Gut Feeling, Backed By Genuine Evidence Of Any Sort

Sometimes you just KNOW something isn't right, but you can't quite put your finger on it.

Women in particular are REALLY GOOD at intuiting when they'd better not go through with a date.

Usually it's because they just feel a bit creeped out. Maybe the guy seems as if he could get sexually pushy or possibly even violent.

But no matter what, most women aren't shy about cutting off plans with a guy when they have a gut feeling they shouldn't show up.

And as guys, our "spidey senses" can start tingling also under certain circumstances, can't they?

Do you think her emotional stability (or lack thereof) could be a factor? If she has already come up with some erratic stuff on the phone, you could be right.

Think she's just out to use you in some way? If you get the distinct feeling you're being manipulated somehow, you're probably right.

No matter what, if she's causing you to think that maybe NOT going out with her would be the best idea, then cancel the date.

You don't really need to explain what you're thinking, because she'll likely have a pretty good comeback ready.

Gut feelings, I've found, are usually trustworthy. Tell her you think it's best that the date not happen, and that there's another man out there who will appreciate her more. Leave it at that.

Usually when we make the decision to hang out with a woman, it's because we genuinely want to. But it's always a good idea to keep a clear perspective along the way...especially when you don't know her very well. So definitely use the information I just shared wisely.

One other quick note. Clearly, I've geared this conversation mostly toward first dates. If you have been seeing a woman for a while, you should be LONG PAST any potentially awkward situations associated with date cancellation. Open, frank conversation should be the norm.

The Free Dating Web Sites Debate - Choose Between Niche Vs General

When it comes to free dating websites, you'll find plenty of options available. That's part of the beauty of them. In fact, they have become so popular among users and advertisers that the crop continues to grow and this has led to the development of some niche dating sites. Below is an overview of the differences between these free dating web sites and some advice to help you make the right choice.

What are Niche Free Dating Sites?

When you hear people talking about niche dating sites, they are referring to sites, usually free dating web sites, which cater to people with specific interests. For example, Christian dating sites have become one of the most popular of these niche options. If your religious faith is important to you, you might choose one of these sites so you can find someone who shares that faith. Religion is only one category of niche-based dating web sites, however. Some are geared towards certain racial or ethnic groups. Some are geared towards people who have certain incomes or work in specific professions. You might also find these sites available for people interested in same sex relationships.

In comparison, general sites are open to almost anyone. If you're not interested in limiting your choices, these sites would be the better choice.

Disadvantages to the Niche Sites

One of the major drawbacks of these niche sites is the community size. Chances are you're just not going to find as many people available. While you could argue that you don't need to meet dozens of people, just the right one, you do improve your odds finding that special person when you have more choices at hand.

Another drawback is that even at these niche sites, not everyone is going to be fitting into that niche. That doesn't mean you're likely to find conniving atheists at the Christian free dating web sites looking to coerce young singles but it does mean that some of the people may just be drawn to smaller venues so they have better odds.

Disadvantages of General Sites

With free dating web sites, you'll still find quite a few of the general sites, too. While you will have a larger database of potential mates, you may have to do a lot more searching to find the right person who fits what you were looking for. Even when you do find some choices, you might be disappointed to learn that they may not be interested in what you have to offer. Plus, the extra competition can be enormous and getting noticed can take a lot of work, plus a stellar profile.

The Best Solution

Since we're talking about free dating web sites, there's no reason you can't try your luck at both types of sites. Have a profile at niche sites that fit your interests and at a general site or two so you can cast a wider net. The combination can help you catch more fish.

When to Cancel a Date, and How to Do It

If you've been reading this newsletter for a while now, you know that we tend to move freely between the philosophical and the practical around here. Well, today's edition is going to be decidedly practical.

In fact, what I'm about to share with you is something that EVERY MAN should know: WHEN to call off a date you've already set up with a woman, and exactly how to go about it.

Honestly, I'm a bit surprised that literally NOBODY ever has covered this subject in the world of men's dating and seduction advice, at least as far as I've seen.

Then again, there's so much focus on actually GETTING a date if you're NOT seeing much action that I can see how that skill remains the priority.

But hey, if you're about going from GOOD to GREAT with women, and if you're about becoming the CHOOSER rather than the CHASER, then you're going to have to get your "cancellation skills" in order here.

So enough of an intro. What follows are EIGHT GOOD REASONS to cancel a date with a woman, and what to do in each situation. Get your sense of humor on, because here we go:

1) She Already Sort Of Makes You Mad

I have no idea why we as guys do this to ourselves. Oh wait...yes I do. She's hot.

But dude, if you already find your blood beginning to boil during simple phone conversations with her, it isn't going to go any better in person.

The same holds true if she flat-out irritates you in some way. It could be her laugh, her political views or that way she friggin' interrupts you constantly or tries to lecture you on what you already know how to do in your sleep.

Maybe it's that generally speaking, she's generally speaking.

No matter WHAT it is, here's the deal: If you don't get along, why go through with the date? Simply call out the gorilla in the room: You're sure she's a "great person" or something, but the two of you just seem to be missing each other.

Be the man here and save her the (further) discomfort of bringing it up herself.

2) You're Already Bored

Another thing that can happen when we finally set up a first meeting with a particularly hot woman is that we COMPLETELY OVERLOOK the fact that she has the personality of a paper clip.

Let's face it, if you're dreading the date more than you're excited about it-primarily because you're 100% sure the conversation is going to be awkward, at best-it's time to grow some self-respect and cancel the date.

The same M.O. as above holds true here. Tell her she's very "nice", but that you don't think the two of you are a match. She'll be much happier with a guy who's conversation enraptures her a bit more than yours.

Yeah, this is a variation on the "it's not you, it's me" concept, but it's also probably true. Just about every tedious person I know eventually finds someone with whom he or she gets along perfectly. How or why that's possible, who knows?

Chalk it up to the uniqueness of individuals and what makes them happy.

And by all means, if the fact you've even PLANNED the date a few days ago has slipped your mind until you look at your schedule...do the right thing. Free the woman up to go out with someone who cares.

3) Signs Of Games, Potential Flakiness, Or Getting Played

If this one doesn't get to the very heart of "self-respect", I don't know what does. It's no secret that women "test" you. Especially particularly hot ones.

But as a "selector" who is in total control of his dating life, you've got to draw the line on where "testing" turns into blatant game playing or even flat-out manipulation.

For example, if she calls you at 3 in the afternoon on the day you are allegedly supposed to take her out that night and says, "Oh, hey...I can't make it. How about some other time?" then she'd better have brought an excuse along.

And it had better be a REAL GOOD one, along the lines of #6 or #7 below.

If you want to be the leader in this situation, again call it as you see it. If the excuse is legit, DO GIVE HER A CHANCE.

I realize some may tell you to cut her off right then and there, but in my mind to do that smacks of personal insecurity. Think about it.

Sometimes stuff really does come up, and you have to respect that. Believe it or not, Emily actually canceled our first date together. And obviously things worked out pretty well when we rescheduled.

But if she's just running lame "flake out" game on you, tell her it's all good...you suddenly agree that BOTH OF YOU have better things to do.

If you find yourself uttering these words, here's a caveat: This will likely fry her circuits and give her a fresh dose of amped up attraction for you. Forget it. The die has been cast with regard to what you can expect from her in the future.

Here's a dime. Find a more mature woman to date instead of a little girl. You don't have to tell her I said that...exactly.

4) You've Never Seen More Than One Pic Of Her, Or Have Never Talked On The Phone

This is for you guys out there who are online. One pic on her profile isn't going to cut it. Ask for more.

If she's offended you would ask, let that be a red flag. If she won't talk to you on the phone before meeting you, let that be another. And as you know by now, red flags do not a pleasant dating experience make.

By the way, the same holds true if a "blind date" is in the works. You won't be offending the friend who set the two of you up if you ask for the pics and the phone number ahead of time. Really.

If you don't get any joy here, explain that you simply cannot commit your time and energy to meeting her if she is unwilling to commit the time and energy to assure you there's a possibility of mutual interest. Period.

For most guys, exactly one disastrous result of having overlooked these details in favor of misplaced optimism is enough for the lesson at hand to be learned. I'm trying to save you from having to learn it the hard way.

5) The "Set Up"

It goes like this. You've taken the lead by suggesting a certain game plan for your time together. She appreciates that and seems excited to join you.

Then you get a call. No wait, make that an email or a text.

It invariably starts with "Hey..."

"Hey...is it okay if my sister tags along? She's really feeling down and hasn't been out in a while."

If you say "yes" to this, you may as well have agreed to her bringing a posse of bodyguards, a couple of blue-haired chaperones and a rocket scientist along too.

Chances are you probably have not succeeded at creating COMFORT and SECURITY here ahead of time.

Step back and regroup. Have you suggested a public meeting place or taking separate cars if the two of you barely know each other?

If not, tell her you'd prefer being able to give her your undivided attention.

Then let her know you want her to feel comfortable with the meeting, so you're changing the venue to a place where there will be plenty of other people around...if not her sister, per se.

Another variation to watch out for her is when SHE suggests a venue change at the last minute.

For example, you had arranged to meet at a Thai restaurant. Thirty minutes beforehand, she calls and suggests you meet at Morton's Steak House instead.

I don't think so. And neither should you. Once you set the precedent of falling for that, your relationship with her is about to get REALLY pricey...and REALLY platonic, too.

6) One Or The Other Of You Is Feeling Sick

Now we get to the "legit" portion of the discussion.

Certainly, there's varying degrees of "sick". If you have a headache, wolf down some ibuprofen and plan on it working. After all, having to call off a date you're genuinely psyched about is a major bummer.

But look man, if you're hurling up your insides and/or sneezing your sinuses into submission, you're just going to have to face up to reality.

And that reality is this: If you're physical state is going to cause MORE HARM to the attraction process and/or to the relationship itself than getting a rain check, then you've GOT to reschedule.

Make the decision and run with it. If you need to postpone the date, then call her and FIRMLY RESCHEDULE it then and there. Suggest a time to her and preferably make it at the same place.

If you get pushback from a skeptical woman, state VERY CLEARLY that this is no joke. You are genuinely looking forward to hanging out with her, but it's going to have to be after you've kicked whatever is ailing you.

Now if SHE'S the one calling you to announce that she has fallen ill, simply apply the logic in reverse. If she's seriously not feeling well, she'll be profusely apologetic and offer a time to reschedule. That's what you'll be looking for in that conversation.

If she's unwilling to reschedule, it's probably a cop-out. Either that or she's already on her way to the hospital and losing consciousness.

7) Genuine Priority Adjustment

We've all seen it happen. You have a great date planned with a woman you've had your eye on for WEEKS...but Murphy has other plans.

I remember one time in college I finally figured out how to strike up a conversation with a girl named Gwen, who I only saw maybe once or twice a week...max. She agreed to play racquetball with me the following night.

Completely stoked about that for the next eighteen hours, I went to my afternoon class...where the professor casually reminded us the MID-TERM EXAM was the next day.

I had to cancel the date. And unfortunately, the date never ended up happening.

But I aced my class. And I graduated from college and got a job afterward.

Hopefully, if something comes up that represents a higher priority than going on a date, you'll be better at rescheduling with a firm time and place than I was.

And make no mistake, there are LOTS of possibilities when it's time to list what's probably more important than going on a date. Unexpected business trips, family emergencies, playoff tickets...

8) Gut Feeling, Backed By Genuine Evidence Of Any Sort

Sometimes you just KNOW something isn't right, but you can't quite put your finger on it.

Women in particular are REALLY GOOD at intuiting when they'd better not go through with a date.

Usually it's because they just feel a bit creeped out. Maybe the guy seems as if he could get sexually pushy or possibly even violent.

But no matter what, most women aren't shy about cutting off plans with a guy when they have a gut feeling they shouldn't show up.

And as guys, our "spidey senses" can start tingling also under certain circumstances, can't they?

Do you think her emotional stability (or lack thereof) could be a factor? If she has already come up with some erratic stuff on the phone, you could be right.

Think she's just out to use you in some way? If you get the distinct feeling you're being manipulated somehow, you're probably right.

No matter what, if she's causing you to think that maybe NOT going out with her would be the best idea, then cancel the date.

You don't really need to explain what you're thinking, because she'll likely have a pretty good comeback ready.

Gut feelings, I've found, are usually trustworthy. Tell her you think it's best that the date not happen, and that there's another man out there who will appreciate her more. Leave it at that.

Usually when we make the decision to hang out with a woman, it's because we genuinely want to. But it's always a good idea to keep a clear perspective along the way...especially when you don't know her very well. So definitely use the information I just shared wisely.

One other quick note. Clearly, I've geared this conversation mostly toward first dates. If you have been seeing a woman for a while, you should be LONG PAST any potentially awkward situations associated with date cancellation. Open, frank conversation should be the norm.