How to Get Back With My Ex Girlfriend - 5 Things That NEED to Happen!

"Hmmm . . . how to get back with my ex girlfriend?" is the recurring question in your mind. I can just see you now, sitting there with one arm tucked in your armpit, your other arm resting on it, with your index finger on your temple . . . or are you stroking your chin with your first finger and thumb?

This is a very sensitive subject and circumstance. But I gather that you believe you can have her back-after all . . . you're asking HOW to, not CAN you get her back. If you honestly want her back, then pay close attention to what I'm about to say.

I'm going to give you 5 surefire ways to begin rebuilding the foundation of what you hope to be a satisfying relationship. If you do everything in your power to really follow them, the result will be: her taking another look at what she might be missing!

#1. Forgiveness- The first thing that needs to happen is forgiveness. You need to ask her to forgive you, whether or not breaking up was your fault. Asking for forgiveness for previous transgressions during the relationship speaks of "owning up to" your part-it always takes two! You could say something like, "Ya know . . . I'm really sorry I took you for granted; I can see it now; could you ever forgive me?"

Also, you need to forgive her, whether or not breaking up was her fault. It's not necessary to tell her you forgive her, as a matter of fact, it's best that you don't. This should be done within your own heart. Truly, let bygones be bygones. Forgive her for the same small offenses that dwelt in you-nobody's perfect-we all do things . . . even when we're not conscious of them. Forgiveness for even the smallest things is what gives a relationship new foundation.

#2. Acknowledgment-Of course if you did something to cause the separation, it should go without saying that you should apologize, but you can't apologize sincerely without acknowledging that you messed up. This involves dropping your pride: don't pretend that your screw-up wasn't a big deal just so you don't have to feel any guilt. What if the tables were turned? Would it go over well with you if she said, "I don't understand why you're so upset; I told you it didn't mean anything!" Extreme I know, but whatever it was you did, I hope you get the point.

If you have no idea of why your ex girlfriend broke up with you, it doesn't hurt to ask. You probably do know why, but were too busy denying her claims that you missed the signs of relationship demise. Ask her why now, and you'll more than likely actually hear her-acknowledge what she says as being valid and express your regrets.

#3. Maturity- is a must if you're asking, "How to get back with my ex girlfriend?" No matter what things went on during the relationship or during the break-up, you've got to be able to show that you can behave as an adult and not a child who throws tantrums trying to get what they want. A woman needs to feel secure where her heart and life are concerned--children don't provide security!

When you're with your ex, hold down the cussing, fighting, tantrums, and begging-those things only prove your weak-mindedness to her. You've got to show her that you can stand on your own two feet without her-if you've got solid footing, then you serve as a strong foundation on which she can also stand, allowing her to recognize the stability and security you might provide if she takes you back..

#4. Friendship-There's nothing more important to building a relationship than a good friendship. Remember . . . you want to start over, so you need to become her friend all over again (or for the first time; I understand a lot of relationships began in the bedroom). A lasting bond starts with being real friends. You should be able to talk seriously and not so seriously, laugh together and cry together, share secrets, fears and vulnerabilities, and have each other's backs.

All of these things build trust-not just in the area of fidelity, but also in the other issues of life. She should be able to count on you for even the smallest of things like . . . knowing when she needs encouragement . . . or even a back rub.

#5. T.A.L.T.-"Try A Little Tenderness" This last tip is better said by quoting the words sang by Otis Redding: "She may be waiting-anticipating . . . things she might never, ever possess. But while she's there waiting, try a little tenderness. You won't regret it-no . . . young girls-they don't forget it . . . love is their own happiness. It's all so easy, all you got to do is 'try a little tenderness!'"

Don't forget, if you take these steps without coming off desperate, and if the love you shared was really "shared," and not just one-way, she will definitely take notice, and after a while, she may even admit that it was a huge mistake you broke up. I'm not promising that she'll fall into your arms, but this is a realistic process which was laid out in T Dub' Jackson's book, "The Magic of Making Up".

I'm pullin' for you!