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пятница, 24 октября 2008 г.

Fitness Equals Success in All Aspect of You Life, Including Success With Women - Sarcastic and Fun

I can attest to the fact that personal trainers have a sense of humor. Oh, really? you might say. Well, we are and just look at the book we wrote. Talk about sarcasm. So I had a workout buddy that trained with me every day of the week for at least 8 months before he left for the state of Califohhhhnia to pursue his dream of becoming a professional bodybuilder. Venice Beach, California, the Mecca of bodybuilding. Of course, let's not forget about the south of the East coast, where nip/tuck is increasingly popular. Anyway, one day, after ferociously pumping the quadriceps, reaching almost half a ton on the leg press, I hear him yell out "Quadratic Quads." The humor of this rather interesting comment immediately came to my attention. As we know, the quadratic equation in math can represent great dimensions with the right x, y and z's or a, b and c's, and therefore using this phrase for the quads was quite ingenious. I looked at him and told him that it didn't need to stop there: we could go further. What I meant is that the human body has other major muscle groups that we can alliterate using the first letter corresponding to muscle group. We came up with "Bulging Biceps" "Ludicrous Lats," "Gigantic Glutes," "Chiseled Chest/Calves," "Titanic Triceps/Traps,: "Ferocious Forearms," "Death Defying Delts," "Spectacular Shoulders," "Astonishing Abs," "Heavenly Hamstrings." Talk about lame. However, this is what kept us going and pumping even harder.

Most personal trainers I know have some kind of relationship with their clients that I would consider somewhat strange; however, we all share the same desire to make a difference in people's lives. Just take the movie "Pumping Iron," where the members of a gym become a family, and after working out they all go and have lunch. This, I would point out, actually corresponds to their fourth meal of the day, and they still have four more to go. Since working out actually makes you hungry, you need to consume lots of calories to compensate for the lost ones. So you eat more and more without the fear of gaining any weight other than muscle weight.

Personal trainers can be quite competitive as well since they all do their best to garner as many clients as possible to stay as busy as possible. It's healthy competition, though, since a good personal trainer who follows the correct code of conduct will not trespass on someone else's territory unless he is sure that the client is looking for a new trainer. As I mentioned previously, when looking for a personal trainer there is the chance that this particular trainer will not "feel" good to you. Personal trainers understand that and for that reason we always offer a complimentary introductory work out to get the feeling if the personal trainer is right for you. We do not feel offended if you do decide to go for the competitor: it's just a question of the feeling between the client and the trainer. Many times I've had personal trainers come to me wanting to get rid of a customer by having me take them off their hands since they knew I was very patient. Sometimes clients can be quite a challenge, and some trainers are not in the mood to deal with it. It is also possible that both personalities are not in sync with one another. Whatever the reasons, swapping clients happens often between trainers. Many trainers, for money reasons, decide to tough it out. They are in dire need of money so they accept the abuse, because it can be abuse that they get sometimes from a client. This is a rare scenario but I've experienced it.

As personal trainers, we can use our communication skills to share our knowledge with anyone who wants to listen. I had one client, around 22 years of age, who had problems getting to third base, or fourth base-I don't know what they call it these days-but in any case, I am not talking about playing baseball here. As a first-rate, understanding personal trainer, I soon found myself teaching him the skills of working his charm. Let's face it: approaching a woman while having a good-looking body increases your odds of attracting her attention and desire. So my mission, as I wished and obligated myself to accept it, was to be more of a "life coach" to my client rather than just a personal trainer. And that was perfectly fine, because as a personal trainer, you need to wear different hats during your training sessions. You need to diversify by offering your services as a psychologist, psychiatrist, marriage counselor, life coach, fitness coach, charm coach, etc.... In the case of this particular client, I chose to teach him how to make women say "yes" all the time. First, I told him you need to understand women, at which point he looked at me fearfully, like I was from another planet. I know, it's quite hard to pass into that stage of understanding women and what they want, but being a good listener can always put you on their good side. Some women like the guy to be aggressive-not too aggressive-but just enough to show that he is taking the initiative for courtship. Women can say one thing and mean something else. When women advise you not too jump too fast from stage 1: kissing, stage 2: hands on boobs, and stage 3: well, hands down there, I guess she means it and wants you to take your time between these stages. Women are not so interested in jumping in the sack wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am. Women enjoy being teased a little, or a lot, actually. Once you've passed into that comfort level and all, then you can concentrate on the quickies, which are appreciated by women as well.

Lack of one important thing in a sex life is probably the reason for an increase in straying between couples (and it not always the man who strays!): you need to add some spice to your sex life. I told him to change position, if needed, or if healthy enough, because some positions require you to be Gumby or a circus freak. You always need to communicate with the woman during these sessions to actually understand what she wants and needs. She won't always tell you, but you can try to break the ice before she breaks your head with complaints. Believe me, you don't want that.

A woman always likes to hear that you find her beautiful. Always make comments on her looks and body. If she loses weight, make sure to notice it. Basically, giving compliments is always appreciated. Women can be as vain as guys, and women always enjoy hearing how great they look. It is a two way street as well. If women make the effort to look nice and fit, then men need to do the same, and this is why personal trainers exist. Another thing common to all relationships is when couples get way too comfortable with one another. This is where sometimes all hell breaks loose, as well as love handles and huge fat butts. It is easy to let yourself go and forget that your body is your temple. No one should tell you when and where to stop. It's all about making a continual effort to make yourself look good for the woman, especially if she makes the effort to look good.

As I mentioned previously, when a women gets comfortable, she takes the position of the aggressor, and she might be one who wants it "tout de suite" (that is French for "Now, Goddammit!"). When you see a woman grab you by your jewels, I guess you are smart enough to understand what she is looking for, and if you are oblivious to what she wants, well, either go hide in a hole until an asteroid hits the Earth or just ask her!!!!!
Since we've covered the ones that are aggressive, you have to consider the others who do not know how to ask for it or just plain to shy. Understanding a woman will make you more attuned to her needs. Just by looking at her, or better yet, hearing her moans, you can allow her to guide you into what she wants you to do. If she's looking for the man to perform oral, well, the best for you to do is just making the "Survivor" journey down there. By kissing her from neck to breast, to stomach and ribs, the more she moans, the better it is for you to continue. If she is not interested in having you go lower than the waist, she'll simply pull you back up with her hands. Given that no words are exchanged, there's no chance for humiliation for either party.

Lighting is important as well. Women are more liberated in darkness versus sunlight. I'm wondering who the vampire is in this scenario. Most women use darkness to hide some of their, well...defects. Lack of light is always a preferred environment for women, and it should be respected. Believe me, it is to your advantage. Let her do whatever she wants, even if it's to blindfold you. Actually, you should encourage that as it can bring some spice to your sex life. v

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