Dating and Tabs - Picking Up the Tab

You've been dating this man for quite some time now. It isn't anything serious although you really enjoy his company. What's more, he seems like the perfect gentleman, offering to pick up the tab every time you go out.

This seems like the perfect setup. Being a modern woman however, you want to do your share in paying for your dates. You've heard somewhere that the general rule for couples in the early stages of dating is to go Dutch. The problem is that he is a bit more financially well-off compared to you. Although you can afford to pay for some places, there are simply other restaurants and clubs that you can't afford. This leaves you in a predicament. Should you decline his invitation to go to a certain place, simply because your pride dictates that your wallet cannot afford it? He might take this as a rejection on your part. If you do go, you could end up flat broke and it is only the start of the month. Your next pay packet won't come for another couple of weeks and the rent is due.

The best way to solve your predicament is to lower your pride and come clean. You first need to be honest with yourself. Forget all the modern woman thoughts and examine yourself. Why do you want to pay in the first place? Are you afraid that his footing the bill may have a payback clause somewhere down the road? As in, he may be trying to "buy you"? Are you concerned about not being equal?

Once you've levelled with yourself about your true feelings, you can have a heart-to-heart talk with him. Be honest and tell him everything you're feeling. Don't give the impression that you're trying to be his equal. Tell him that you appreciate all his gestures but there are times when you simply want to shoulder the bill. He may decline of course but if he really understands you, he will definitely oblige.

As for the solution, be creative. Why not let him simply pay for the more expensive places. You on the other hand, can shoulder the more down-to-earth places such as movies or fast food joints. He may be rich but dining at McDonald's shouldn't be a problem for him. Again, if he really loves you, he will want to experience your world as well.

So learn to talk things over with the man or woman you're dating. Whether it involves paying for dates or any other reason. Constant communication is absolutely key in dating. Good luck.