Cuddling 101 - The Psychological Approach

Most people attribute cuddling to being a precursor to sex. I contend that this is quite possible, and at certain stages of a relationship, it is in fact a prelude to, and a conclusion of sex. However, this is not always the case, and in fact cuddling has a more sacrosanct place in our psyche. It is the physical glue that holds our social, spiritual, and intellectual foundation together, as it relates to relationships. How? You say." Let's start here. It first reinforces our relationship to one another. Not relationship as in dating or involved in an intimate arrangement, but it reinforces our co-dependent spiritual and physical relationships. That's right, I said co-dependent.

Most modern feminists, or "independent" women as they like to call themselves, would make the argument that they don't need a man. They may even go forward to quote some famed blues musician, and state "They can do bad by themselves". Well, that's exactly what they will do. (But that's not what this lesson is about. We will discuss this further in a lesson called pseudo independence.) We are, whether you like it or not, co-dependent beings. It's how we were created; man and woman, two parts of one whole. Now that's not to say the two can't successfully exist separate of one another, that's just saying they weren't intended too. The original intent was to provide balance to, and support for one another. Our co-dependent nature extends beyond procreation, which is the most obvious; we need one another to perpetuate our existence. However, I will contend that we need each other for spiritual solidarity.

Cuddling, in its most basic form reinforces this need; it reaffirms our roles in life. That's right, I said roles. We all have roles, the problems exist when most of us don't realize what they are, and when we do, we fail to act in them. Now, don't be misled by the word "role". That in no way is intended to be connotative of what most people believe about roles. Nor is it to suggest that one gender has greater, physical or spiritual authority than the other. Their positions in life are actually equal; their roles are just different. Their positions have to be equal. If they are not, it disrupts the balance of things.

So when we engage in the physical art of embracing and caressing, we are in fact saying to one another (non-verbal communication), that I acknowledge your position in my life as nurturer, provider, supporter, and protector. In layman's terms, we are saying that regardless to what's going on in life, no matter what obstacles we are facing, "Boo I got you". We are saying, it's okay to be yourself around me; you don't have to pretend, because I won't judge. We are saying I acknowledge you as a potential spiritual counterweight, and basic physics teaches us what a counterweight provides. It provides balance; balance is the equivalent of harmony, which is the equivalent of peace. Peace only comes from the creator. We have to make the conscience decisions for things to be balanced, the rest happens accordingly.

(Note: Those of us who understand the multiplicity of our actions are consciously processing and engaging in this type of behavior; the rest are simply regurgitating learned behavior. The inclination for the action remains the same, yet the understanding of the action is vastly different.)

*****Disclaimer: The expressed views and opinions above are exactly that, Views & Opinions. Mr. Dabney does not hold an MD or PhD in Psychology, and therefor