Dating After Leaving an Emotionally Abusive Relationship - 3 Tips For Success

Most of the time, we go into a relationship thinking that a person who tells us that he or she loves us truly has our best interest at heart. However, after an experience where this is not the case, we may struggle with Many people are unsure or feel insecure about dating after they have left an emotionally abusive relationship. This is understandable, as trust has been fundamentally violated. being able to trust our own judgments or trust others. This safety instinct is not a bad thing. There are often reasons that someone gets involved in an abusive relationship, so it is reasonable that there might be a tendency to repeat the pattern unless some work is done to identify that person's part in the relationship. Here are 3 tips to success in dating after you've escaped an emotionally abusive relationship:

1.       Take some time for yourself. Being in an emotionally abusive relationship often strips the victims of an accurate sense of identity. It may be valuable to work with a counselor if you feel there may be underlying patterns of behavior or belief that you don't understand. Coaching can also be of help as you seek to identify your goals and achieve them moving forward. Journal about your emotions and honor your ups and downs. Having mixed feelings is common.

2.      Spend lots of time with friends and family who love and support and affirm you in positive terms. You have some serous reprogramming to do internally. Having a partner who constantly puts you down is likely to have a lingering effect, so make sure you are hearing the truth whenever possible.

3.      Get in touch with your instincts and learn to follow them. Chances are, when you met your abusive ex partner, there were red flags and warning signs that this wasn't the healthiest situation for you. Don't ignore feelings of confusion or anxiety, or a nervous or sinking feeling around a prospective date. It may be nervousness and excitement, or it may be your body warning you about something in this person. Go slowly and take your time. Value yourself enough to honor your need to see behavior over time before making a choice to commit. The more you value yourself, the more likely you are to end up with someone who will also value you.