Is He the Right Guy For You?

I mean, honestly, how can you tell if this is the right guy for you?  He may have plenty of qualities you admire. 

Maybe...you enjoy his company, you're attracted to him, he has a good job, gets along with his family; but is he 'the one?'

Follow our easy step-by-step plan to make one of the most important decisions of your life.  Get out a pen and paper, or open Microsoft word, and let's get busy.  If you're serious, this is not something to do in your head.  Get it down on paper.

In order to know if he is for you, you first have to know what your priorities are, so you can determine the qualities you want in a man.  Obviously, there are as many different priorities as there are people.  Only you can decide what is important to you.

1. Jot down.. without censoring.. all the attributes you can possibly think of that are important to you.  Here are a few ideas for what you might want in a guy, just to get you thinking:  responsible, funny, Christian, adventurer, down-to-earth, risk-taker, good money manager, loves children, great relationship with his family, well-mannered, respectful, interested in my life, non-smoker, trustworthy, generous, physical connection, owns his own home, entrepreneur, steady job.. the list is endless.
   You may have noticed, aside from 'physical connection', there's no mention of physical attributes such as six feet tall, handsome, dark hair, etc.  If physical appearance.. we're not talking physical attraction..if this is important to you, then write it down.  But, listen, girlfriend, you could totally miss your Prince Charming if you get too hung up on what you think a guy needs to look like as opposed to his character and values.
   
    
   
   


2. Once you have your list, circle the qualities that are absolutely non-negotiable.  If a sense of humor is top of your list; if you want someone who doesn't take life too seriously, then you will not be happy, in the long run, with a 'stick in the mud'.  Or, can you imagine if 'family' is big for you and you hook up with someone who doesn't get along with his family?  Little note here:  A guy estranged from his whole family should be a huge red flag, anyway.  What about kids?  If you want children and he absolutely does not, you need to seriously consider breaking it off.  There are certain areas that just can't be compromised.
    
   
   


3. Now, list your core beliefs and world views.. This can be a real eye opener all in itself.. but write down who you are.
    
   
   


4. Final step.. see if your values match up with the list of what you want in a man..  I mean if you are a real adventurer and you say you want a responsible, down-to-earth guy.. you have to step back and consider this conflict.  In reality, the two probably won't match up very well.

These steps can save you time and heartbreak by getting clarity on what qualities are essential in a relationship, and what's not as important.

Couple of final thoughts to find the right guy for you-

• Do not think, 'this guy would be great if only _______' fill in the blank.  If you can't embrace who this guy is today, move on.  Trying to fix somebody to fit your ideal is hugely insulting to him and never works.
   
  
  


• Fixer-upper's are for houses, not men.  Do not try and rescue or fix a guy.. For example, say he's an alcoholic or drug addict.  My advice?  Run for the hills.  Tell him to look you up when he has one year sobriety.  What if he's in the middle of a divorce?  Have him call you after the divorce is final.  You don't have to listen to me, but you'll save yourself a world of hurt, if you do.

So, follow our steps .. and find the guy that is just right for you.. not right for your girlfriend, sister, co-worker.. but just right for you!