Choosing What's Best - Are Online Relationships Healthy?

You'll hear all kinds of rumors about what is and isn't best. Are online relationships healthy? It depends on the relationship. Just as some "in the flesh" relationships are healthier than others, the same holds true for online relationships.

Building on the Basics

Healthy relationships build on a few basic blocks. You have the foundation blocks that are deep and wide and help you establish a rapport with one another. The basics are the courtship. Learning about likes and dislikes, sharing dreams, and beginning to make plans for the future are all part of this stage of the relationship. You can have them with online relationships just as you can have them with flesh and blood romances.

Plan for the Future

Because the relationships aren't physical (at least not until you've made the move from "cyber world" to "real world") there is often a deeper sense of connection among couples that meet online. Many of them feel that their relationships transcend physical. Is this healthy? For a while it will do. Eventually the relationship is going to have to move beyond the "getting to know you" phase and into the "getting to hold you" phase. You'll have to establish your own timeline for taking the next step. If you find you're unable to move forward then it's really time to consider moving on.

Get Physical

At some point in time you're going to have to do more than meet and say high. Whether it's the first kiss or something more intimate will depend on the two of you, your interests in one another, and where your comfort zone lies. You will need to move beyond talking, texting, and messaging at some point and into a real life situation where you can touch, kiss, cuddle, and hold hands.

Give and Take

All healthy relationships involve a little bit of give and take. Both parties give a little and take a little in the course of a relationship. What are you getting from your online relationship and what are you giving too the relationship? Is one of you doing more of the giving while the other does more taking? That's a sign of unhealthiness creeping into the relationship whether it's in the flesh or online.

In the end, only you can do what's best. Are online relationships healthy for you? It depends on how good you are at compartmentalizing your life and how willing you are to sacrifice the physical closeness that many couples take for granted. They can be as healthy or unhealthy as any other relationship though so you'll need to take careful steps to make sure your online relationship remains as healthy as possible.