How to Attract a Strong Man! Competitor Or Playmate - Single Women Learning to Let Men Lead

Men get it! They know you can bring home any version of bacon you choose, feed it to your children before you head off to work and change the flat tire you got on the way. You've learned to grow your own set of balls and you use them to acquire esteem, money, and power. Problem is...there's one too many sets in the house and men are left wondering what to do.

We won't always let them open the doors, we sometimes let them pay, we forget to stay seated in the car long enough to let them walk around to get our door, then we call them when we feel we have waited long enough and the three days is up.

We confuse them. We talk all about our accomplishments as if we were on a job interview. We sometimes fall into a competition of "one upping" (IE: "Oh, I've done that but better) and it turns into a professional game of ping pong. Trouble is: no one wins. He leaves feeling drained and you leave excited wondering when he'll call. Here's a heads up- never.

Somewhere along the line, we became the competitor rather than the playmate. I'm not talking about Hugh Hefner's. I'm not suggesting that you forget how brilliant, viable, and fabulous you are. I'm asking you to let your hair down...literally.

We know we are right most of the time. So, question is, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? I don't need to prove myself to anyone. All I need to do on a date is sit back and decide if I like this man. That's it! We try too hard to impress him when all he wants to do is impress us. He plays that game all day long on the golf course or during sales calls. He doesn't particularly want to do it with his potential lover.

Men want to know they are respected. And they certainly don't want to get into a pissing contest with you over candle light.

So, do you want to be the competitor or the playmate? If you pick the competitor, one of two things are guaranteed to happen.
1. He will respect you and might even want to make a business deal with you, but he won't want to date you.
2. You will attract a man that isn't driven or motivated and is perfectly fine with you at the wheel in everything in life.

But if you pick the competitor, please understand that there will be too many chiefs and not enough Indians to sustain a long term relationship. And you don't get to complain about how you do it all and he isn't "manly" enough for you because you chose to take on that role yourself.

If you want to be the playmate, don't compete.

I couldn't understand what I was doing wrong for such a long time. Here I was, this successful, funny, confident woman who wasn't getting asked out. It was because I was scaring the shit out of men. The powerful men I am attracted to weren't attracted to me. Only the drama queens who wanted to be taken care of. Does this make sense?

The playmate is fun loving! She read the rules and although she thought it might be bullshit, she knows deep down it works. So, she lets men lead. She doesn't call them. She doesn't ask them out, they ask her. She knows her worth so she is patient.

I understand that some of you might say: "Heidi, I am going to be myself and I am super strong and confident! I will not play games or act more demure..." whatever. And I am going to ask you..."How's that working for you?"
Here's to changing what's not working!