Signs of a Desperate Dater

Everyone wants to be in love. Everyone wants to find that special someone that they can spend the rest of their life with. Sometimes it just happens unexpectedly. Someone catches your eye across the room and you are drawn together instantly. But this type of fairy tale meeting is the exception rather than the norm. For most people, finding a mate is a lengthy process that involves searching, dating, contemplation and elimination. The process usually works quite well; however, if you are desperate to find a mate, there is plenty of room for error.

Why? Desperate daters meet potential mates with blinders on. They are unable to see the flaws that are so obvious to others. They create a false persona and attribute it to the person they are dating. They dream about the future, and that future is always set in a fantasy world that cannot possibly exist or come true because it has been created on false or "dreamed up" data.

Unfortunately, many people have fallen into this trap only to realize their huge errors in mate selection later in life. The truth is that desperate dating never has desirable results. But how can you tell if you are a desperate dater? The following signs will help you determine whether you date with desperation or trepidation:

• Ignoring Facts - Desperate daters tend to ignore facts that are right before their eyes. When something unpleasant about a potential mate is discovered, they sweep it under the rug and act like it doesn't exist. They only focus on the good qualities that they discover. This can lead to an unbalanced view of the person in question.


• Making Excuses - In addition to ignoring unpleasant qualities, desperate daters tend to make excuses for them. For example: "He only cheated on his ex wife because she was emotionally unavailable and insensitive to his needs. He would never do that to me." This kind of thinking can leave you heartbroken later on when he does do the same thing to you.


• Rushing to the Finish - Desperate daters have a tendency to rush the relationship. Instead of taking the time to get to know someone and enjoy the dating process, they start dreaming of their wedding day after a few dates. Remember; a person's true character is revealed over the test of time. Plus, if you rush the relationship, you will miss out on the excitement of getting to know someone and falling in love with them.

When you date someone it is a journey. It is not a now or never proposal. You should never feel desperate or overly anxious. Take your time; get to know someone. Let them reveal themselves to you. See them for who they truly are. Accept them for who they are. Avoid spinning fairy tales. If you do all of this, you will discover a mate for life and not an illusion that will evaporate at the first sign of trouble.