Making Yourself the Object of Desire

Here's a letter from Richard: "I'm writing you because I had some pretty amazing successes with women... but was getting too nervous, "state frictions" as you call them, at social gatherings where there were hot women.

Ok so I work in a cubicle most of my day, but I take really long lunch breaks, where I can get some things done on my laptop. It's my habit to sit outside at a local coffee shop (won't say the name) because it's nice to get some air and refresh my eyes (looking at a screen can really get your mood down, I'm sure you know what I mean).

So I'm doing my usual routine, sitting at a table, under an umbrella, following up on some emails, when a short, curvaceous blond girl, maybe in her early 20s sits about two tables away from me. She is reading what looks like a textbook and writing in a notebook, so I assume she's doing something for school work. I was told to always notice what the girl is doing and use it as a way to initiate conversation.

So I begin to think of some clever line. WRONG FOCUS!

I remember what Matt told me, and I make it simple. I decided to ask her what she's working on. So I decide I will walk past and pretend to get some cream for my coffee. But then I realize that this is HIDING MY INTENTION. Again, that's the wrong focus.

So instead I lean back from my laptop, breathe in the day, and say in a nice loud friendly voice "What a day huh..." She looks up and smiles. I say "It's great that we can do our work outside today. So many people are trapped in their cubicles."

She looks up and seems to think about what I said, or maybe she's thinking about the fact that a guy is interested in her. So she was deciding what to do next. And just like it say I can't control her. I have to let her choose me back. So I just look at her to see what she does - totally the opposite of my old self because I probably would have looked down or tried to find a way to "protect myself" as it says.

She replied about how she doesn't have a job but is doing school work. The old me would have thought "oh she's in school. She's too young. I'm an old fart with no chance."

WRONG FOCUS! If you don't try, you automatically fail! So why not? What have I got to lose. I can't explain enough how different this is to the guy I was a few months ago.

Anyway we end up talking about school and work, but not in a boring way. I'm being really honest, not polite and resorting to small talk. I ask her good questions and at one point even say something in the Us Frame. She smiled BIG time when I said this - something about us ditching class together but how would we get the notes...good stuff!

Anyways as I was leaving I suggested we talk again sometime and she seemed excited about that. We exchanged contact info.

Now here's the exciting part. After some few flirty text messages back and forth we meet together at a wine bar near my apartment (I'm on the young side of middle age, divorced, but I have a pretty cool bachelor pad I must say). So I'm thinking we'll have a couple drinks and maybe rent a movie to watch at my place if things go well. Well, things go VERY well.

We end up on my couch watching The Notebook (not my style but it was her choice). Now normally I would either freeze up and not make a move, or if I made a move, I'd get it all wrong and the girl would put up a ton of resistance.

Well not this time! I escalated touch and never pushed too hard. I held her close, occasionally smelled her neck and rested my lips in her hair and then she turned and we ended up going at it. I won't give detailed information about what happen next, but we have a great time together! And I will definitely be seeing her again.

Vin, let me say again how grateful I am to you and Matt especially for his coaching."

Thanks for that email Richard. It's stuff like this that keeps me going. I was so happy to read this.

I believe that results speak for themselves, and the best way to do business is to get RESULTS.

Copyright (c) 2009 Vin DiCarlo