Getting Beyond That First Date and Finding Love That Will Last

If you are dating and looking for love, you want to put yourself in the best position to find what you are seeking. In a world of online dating services and casual first dates, here are some tips to land that second date and find a more permanent relationship.

Make an Honest Presentation

If you provide a picture on an online dating service, use a recent one. Be honest about your appearance because physical attraction is important to many people and if you appear a lot differently than what is expected, there probably will not be a subsequent date anyway. Share interests in your profile. Something you enjoy just might catch the interest of a prospective date and a shared interest is a great conversation topic.

Be Considerate

Most people want to feel appreciated. Make the effort to arrive on time to the date and if you get lost or run late, let the person know. If you are the recipient of a free meal, make sure to thank your date. If you are being treated, order considerately. If possible, turn your cell phone off so your date can have your undivided attention.

Put Effort into Your Appearance

Dress nicely and appropriately for the location of the date.

Converse

Be approachable and think about conversation topics before you meet. It may help to preview your date's profile so you remember what interests may be good conversation starters. Sports, current events, vacations, and general background questions may be engaging topics. If you are not a great conversationalist, consider keeping the first meeting short by having coffee and dessert. Avoid conversations about your ex-spouse or former relationships.

Accept Imperfection

You are probably not going to find someone without faults when you're looking for love, but remember you have your own imperfections. The trick is to find someone who has faults you can live with and a person who can accept your faults as well. You might find someone that will make small changes for you, but recognize that most people are not going to make major changes especially if they have been on their own a long time or have already gone through several marriages or rocky relationships.

Know What You Won't Accept

If you are not interested in having children, don't look for love with someone who tells you early on that she wants to have them. If religion is important, don't waste someone's time who isn't the right faith.

Try Not to Be Controlling

Although people want to find love and be part of a couple, they also want to maintain their own identities. Often people lose friends when they go through a difficult divorce or separation so friends they keep are even more valuable. Recognize that the introduction of friends and family means you are important to the person you are dating and they have chosen to share other people important in their lives with you. Sometimes you may have to spend time with people you wouldn't seek out.